Ian Crock(er)pot

After watching Ian "Crockpot" Crocker get 116th place in the 100m Butterfly Final, I have to ask, does his training involve eating underwater? Eating nonstop from whatever is in the crock pot at mom's house?

It seems like Crocker's training involves more slumber parties at Derek "Coleslaw" Coleman's house with other guests including Vin "Second-Helping Taker" Baker and Jared (before Subway).

I mean, I just don't get how a CURRENT world-record holder in an event cannot get himself up for the Olympics. Even Hef gets himself up to this day!

Even worse he talked about how he wouldn't let Phelps beat him. Phelps eats 12,000 calories a day! And even he doesn't look like he could beat Crocker in a mayonnaises eating contest.

I think Def Leppard's drummer could have given him a run for his money in this race. Thank god Jeremy Schaap graced us with his lovely up-to-the-minute update on Crocker's shit talking (slash eating).

Sportscenter Live? Worst invention ever. Including child pornography. Sorry Costas.