Nastia Liukin Has a Fivehead

As soon as the women's gymnastics all-around ended tonight, I immediately ran to the computer. Not to google "Shawn Johnson nude" (Orel Kornheiser told me not to bother, jkkkkkk... well he did, but I wasn't interested anyways I swear!), but to google "Nastia Liukin fivehead."

After receiving confirmation that I was indeed the world's first to notice the abnormally large space between eyebrows and hairline of the (otherwise pretty smokin') gold medalist, I scolded myself for being so judgmental.

Then I decided to air a few more gripes I had while watching tonight (which will confirm that my revelation has yet to truly sink in):

Bela Karolyi is extremely biased towards the American gymnasts.

Speaking of biased, I hate Bob Costas and dream him catching Bronchitis from the smog in China.

Speaking of China, did anyone else think the Romanian gymnast's make-up made her look Chinese? Orel and I were both thinking it at the same time.

Speaking of thinking, shouldn't the fat Russian in the white jumpsuit have done more of it this morning and worn vertical stripes?

Speaking of fat (but not really), Shawn Johnson's booty could probably land her in some rap videos when she gets older. We hope so, at least.

Speaking of aging, what do gymnasts do when their career is done?

Speaking of done, I'm sure most readers were with this post three insults ago.

I'm pretty disgusted with myself, too, and out of here.