Who THE EFF Is Kansas City's Quarterback?

So I just get done watching the Saints lose on Sunday, Brees didn't play particularly well (I mean he was good obviously, but not perfect like usual. Don't worry. Wasn't his fault, his team let him down.), but they still could've won. I'm distraught. I'm pissed. I'm tired. I'm stressed. And then Ike rolls through Indiana and brings with him 40 mph winds and over an inch of rain.

All I wanna do is chill. Get away from it all. And listen to Incubus Live at Red Rocks man. Just chiiiilllllllllll. Red Rocks! You know what I'm saying dude.

Anyways, as I flip from ESPN News over to my DVD input, I have to flip right back to double take and disprove what my eyes claim to have seen. Kansas City QB Thigpen? Who? I know the NFL. I play fantasy football. I thought I know every quarterback in that league. Brodie Croyle, Damon Huard, end of story as far as the Chiefs are concerned. Or so I thought. A Thigpen did play quarterback for the Chiefs. So who is this mysterious "Thigpen?" I've rounded up the suspects, straight-up Tom Lutz style...

Bobby Thigpen: Played nine years in the major leagues for the White Sox, Phillies, and Mariners. (Only) Remembered for setting the MLB single season saves with 57 in 1990.
Pros: Was a better baseball player than John Elway. Would be veteran presence on youthful team.
Cons: At age 45, he's old enough to be the nephew of Brett Favre or Kurt Warner.

Lynne Thigpen: Tony Award winning actress best known for playing "The Chief" of the ACME Agency on Where In the World Is Carmen Sandiego?.
Pros: Already known as "The Chief." Will be a great game manager if she can find open receivers as well as she could find fictional edutainment characters.
Cons: Died of a cerebral hemmorhage in 2003.

Yancey Thigpen: Retired two-time All Pro wide receiver who helped lead the Steelers to Super Bowl XXX. Was rated an 88 on Madden 98.
Pros: Played with Kordell Stewart so he has seen a wide receiver play out of position at quarterback first hand.
Cons: Rating fell to a 74 by Madden 2000. You have to figure he's sub-45 now.

Tyler Thigpen: Third string quarterback on the Kansas City Chiefs. Was an All American in college, nice nice... in Division I-AA at Coastal Carolina. Oh.
Pros: Acquired on waivers, unlikely to be missed if he were to be injured.
Cons: Waived by the Minnesota Vikings, who currently start Tavaris Jackson, one year ago. Has to practice against Bernard Pollard every day. Has to shower with Bernard Pollard every day. Has to listen to Bernard Pollard run his mouth all day.

Pig-Pen: In the event that someone at ESPN made a typo... A cloud of dust and dirt follows the Peanuts character whereever he walks.
Pros: Said to carry the soil trod upon by Genghis Khan. Used to being a loser.
Cons: Stands 4'5", 65 pounds.