Lukas Podolski Should Transferski to the Premier League

Rarely does it make sense to propose that one of the greatest footballers in one of the greatest footballing nations move from the greatest club in his great footballing country to a perhaps-not-so-great club in the greatest league in the world. Have I confused everyone yet? Great!

What I'm trying to say is that it's nigh past time for (the great) Lukas Podolski to move to the English Premier League already.

If you're not familiar with the Bundesliga, you might be saying, "Why-why-WHY the hell should he leave Germany? He's a national team fixture, he plays for the best team in the country, and some Americans know who is- they don't know anyone!- so he's getting plenty of exposure."

All valid points with stronger counter-arguments. Yes, he's a national team fixture and Bayern Munich writes his paychecks. But Bayern is merely a sugar daddy for Podolski; he doesn't get a chance to work for that money. He rarely gets a game, and when he does it's out of position. He's a world superstar because of his insane 31 goals in 52 appearances for Germany, not anything he does for club. He scores just one in five games for Bayern... in other words, with less regularity than former Bayern midfielder and Germany fringe-player Mehmet Scholl. Could casual football fans even pick Scholl out of a police line-up?

Podolski has proven to be undeniably world-class. He's sound technically, has a powerful shot that he can get off quickly, is impossible to contain one-on-one (he terrorized Portugal/Chelsea right-back Jose Bosingwa, possibly the world's best at that position, at Euro 2008), and is a true match-winner. He should be building his legacy at both club and country, not just one.

Moving to England, where there would be no shortage of suitors, would put Podolski on display in the world's greatest league every week- rather than its greatest stage for one month every four years at the World Cup- and make him lots of money. Money isn't everything in life, so also sweetening the pot is the fact that there are about five top-half sides that he could walk into and become the main playmaker, never having to worry about playing time again. The owners of Everton, Aston Villa, Tottenham, Manchester City, and, perhaps, Arsenal, would dig under the couch cushions- or more typically just drill some more oil- to find the funds to procure Poldi.

Whether the world next notices him smashing the Gunners through to the semi-finals of the Champions League or scoring the decisive goal for the underdogs in the Manchester derby, I'd just like to notice him in something other than white.

He's one of the game's greats and deserves the chance to prove it unequivocally.