Lil Wayne's ESPN Blog Makes Me Feel High

No, seriously. Take a look at this wonderblog! These deep observations are pretty dumb, but pretty genius at the same time:

"I know the Rays got the Backstreet Boys to sing the national anthem before Game 1, and that's gonna be something. I thought Backstreet Road was closed for construction, but I guess not. Since I went to a postseason game in Tampa, I think they're gonna boo 'em. I really do. Those fans are wild. They were hardcore, trust me. More cowbell was serious and everybody has mohawks. I don't know how well the Backstreet Boys are going to do with the mohawk crew. It could get ugly."

Here Wayne takes an open shot at another artist (sic). You never see musicians do this. And yet what he says is so true. 12-year-old girls don't watch the World Series. Why ARE the Backstreet Boys going to play there?

"I still like the Rays to win the World Series. The Phillies' hitters are tough. They can shut your starting pitchers down fast and as for pitching, they've got Brad Lidge, and Cole Hamels is nice, but wow. I did not expect them to make the World Series. A lot of people are talking about Lidge and how he blew the save in the NLCS a few years ago but I guarantee he's not thinking about Albert Pujols right now. He's thinking about 46 saves in 46 tries. The number right there is scary. He's riding that wave. With that fact alone this should be a great World Series, but I still think the Rays are gonna come out on top. I'm basing that on the home field advantage."

Most convoluted logic I've ever read.

Honestly, I do not watch the Pro Bowl. I don't even watch the NBA All-Star Game even though I'm always involved in the NBA's All-Star weekend. I'm down there and I never watch the game 'cause it don't mean anything. In the Pro Bowl they wait till the fourth quarter to get serious, but in the NBA All-Star Game they never get serious, they just try to throw the ball off the backboard for 48 minutes. I don't want to sound like an old guy, but I remember NBA All-Star Games games with Jordan, Olajuwon, Ewing that were real games. They're out there f—ing with teammates, you hear about locker room fights, and this is the All-Star Game. That's what I love, but those years are long gone.

Who doesn't like thinking back about how competitive Jordan and Bird were back in the day? He's right; it is a joke today. Every year it seems like one team goes up 30, before the other team storms back, and the scores end up in the 120's.

"Poor Dallas. And poor T.O. He's gonna quit. He takes a loss differently than anyone on that team. I think he has nightmares about losing or something, because he looks like he's about to cry after every game they lose. You see him over there on the sidelines sitting by himself just pouting like a little kid. Remember last year? "That's my quarterback, man." I love when any sports channel just brings that clip back for no reason. They always bring it back for nothing, just out of the blue "That's my quarterback, man." T.O. is an amazing talent but he's definitely a situation. But that's another difference between the old days and now. Back then there's no way you play football and then go cry on TV."

Hilarious. And I never thought of T.O. like that, but I don't smoke weed (I don't), so I have to get this great insight from Lil' Wayne.

Did you see LenDale's touchdown this weekend? His little fat self ran 80 yards. They put the timer on SportsCenter and it took him like six seconds, but he made it and that's what matters. That guy is funny.

No, you're funny Lil' Wayne! LenDale White's "little fat self?" Hahahahaha. Then you say he ran an 80 yard touchdown in six seconds, over a second faster than Usain Bolt could run it in. I can't wait for the next installment.

In unrelated music news, I played this song four times while writing this piece... The song is pretty emo, but the video is really cool (kinda like Say Anything's "I called her on the phone, and she..." song and "Mushaboom"). While I go get some popcorn (I got the munchies REALLY bad!), take a look: