Mad Scientist Mike Leach Would Be Crazy To Leave Texas Tech

Texas Tech's victory over Texas was not yet complete before Brent Musberger was already speculating in coffee/Werther's/whisky-breathed (this is how I picture Musberger smelling) rasps about whether Washington might like Mike Leach to fill their coaching vacancy.

To borrow the new adage from Bad Santa, Washington's Athletic Director will find that if he "wishes in one hand and shits in the other," one hand will stink long before the nation's brightest passing coach shows up in Seattle.

But that doesn't mean Texas Tech's program is head-and-shoulders above all others for the flaky Leach. Still, the "mad scientist" would have to be truly insane to leave Lubbock this offseason.

Whatever happens from here, Leach will face a question that every successful coach under the age of 60 considers... Can I win a national championship where I am?

First, he should read the tales of coaches he knows well who have given into the temptation of supposed greener pastures somewhere else.

Tyrone Willingham, the coach who Musberger bizarrely believes Leach might replace, had job security, a stable program, and California weather at Stanford. He traded that for a bigger contract (that he never saw out), an impatient fan base, and crappy faux-Irish bars. Like many Notre Dame coaches before him, he's facing involuntary early retirement.

Dennis Franchione, who Leach helped procure a pink slip with victories in their last three match-ups against each other, achieved God-like status at Alabama, where football is religion, in leading the Crimson Tide to a 10-3 season under the dark cloud of bowl probation. Franchione wanted more, and one can't help but assume he didn't find it in five tumultuous years at Texas A&M.

Bob Stoops, Leach's boss when he was the offensive coordinator at Oklahoma, has wisely, repeatedly turned down the advances of doe-eyed, deep-pocketed athletic directors across the nation. He's in his tenth year at the helm of the Sooners and enjoys unrivaled job security in Norman.

Unrivaled until Leach gave Texas Tech's fan base, where football is LIFE, a triple dose of Paxil-esque relief to cure 80 years of depression from playing second-fiddle to in-state rivals Texas with Saturday night's victory.

And tonight, with Texas Tech perched at #2 in the BCS rankings, Leach can finally affirmatively answer the aforementioned question: Can I win a national championship where I am?

Tech controls its destiny from here, but even if they lose to Oklahoma and Oklahoma State before season's end... even if they lag upon the graduation of Graham Harrell next year and lose five games... even if, God forbid!, it's revealed that he lied on his initial resume to Texas Tech... Mike Leach's job security is safe. Lubbock will forever be indebted to him. He's sitting in a recruiting gold-mine. He can win a national championship at Texas Tech.

So if Washington comes calling after the season, he shouldn't even answer the phone. If Clemson comes calling before Tech's BCS bowl game, he should politely say no. And if Tennessee comes calling after the bowl games, he should listen and let Tech match their contract offer.

But if Pete Carroll goes to the NFL, and USC shows up and rings his doorbell... well, he'd be crazy not to go!