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Like Charles Barkley at a poker table, SEC athletic directors don’t seem to know when to tighten their purse strings. As a result, operating in the high-stakes world of college football has become more expensive for the rest of the nation.
From a notorious 23 year streak with at least one program on probation (and as many as five at one time), to the $200,000 payment indiscreetly made by a Crimson Tide booster to Alabama’s prized defensive tackle recruit Albert Means in 1999, to Auburn’s failed pursuit of prospective coach Bobby Petrino a year before Tommy Tuberville, the under-contract coach they tried to replace, led the Tigers to an undefeated season, accusations of impropriety, illicit cabals and wantonness are nothing new to the conference.
Don't be shocked to see Urban Meyer paraded out of the locker room atop a bejeweled palanquin or read about LSU's players dining on foie gras and bluefin tuna in their pregame meal this fall.
But the outlay splashed in constructing Tennessee’s supposed “Super Staff” may be the most damaging example of the SEC’s desperation for championship football. After buying out national championship winner Phillip Fulmer for $6 million in November, Tennessee threw $2 million on the doorstep of Oakland Raiders failure Lane Kiffin. What do you get for $2 million these days? According to his last boss, Raiders owner Al Davis, it will buy you a “flat-out liar.” For an extra $1.2 million, the Volunteers bought the nation’s highest paid assistant coach, Kiffin’s dad Monte.
The spending didn’t stop there.
New defensive line coach Ed Orgeron will make $650,000 in 2009, over three times more than recently departed Purdue defensive coordinator Brock Spack made in 2008. Mississippi endured their first winless conference season in 25 years under Orgeron in 2007. The Rebels ranked 14th in the nation at the conclusion of the 2008 season without him.
Alleged offensive genius Jim Chaney was named coordinator and awarded the princely sum of $380,000. Chaney, most will remember, was gently shoved out of his office in Mollenkopf Athletic Center in 2005. Few Boilermakers fans considered him a candidate for MENSA at the time.
Linebackers coach Lance Thompson, said to be a recruiting whiz, was poached for $350,000 a year from Alabama. The Tide didn’t seem to miss him while landing the nation’s top recruiting class last week.
Peering into the situation from the outside, one would guess the state and University of Tennessee must be waltzing through a fiscal purple patch. Not so, says the state’s own governor.
“… it does pain me to see the athletic department living so high while some of the academic departments are facing some very tough times,” said Gov. Phil Bredesen. “I would hope they would be a little sensitive to that fact.”
Academics?
Mr. Bredesen, as Chairman of the Board of Trustees at Tennessee, should know that football will always precede mere trivial concerns such as education down South.
Rivals is calling him the top player in the Class of 2010, the best running back in years, and the next Walter Payton. I watch his videos and think, "Oh, no way, a black Vinny Sutherland!" Which is sweet because I loved Vinny Sutherland. But last I checked he wasn't in the Hall of Fame. Hang on, let me check again. Nope.
Still, I'd be way down to be roomies if you come to Purdue, Lache. I'm not gonna give you a mansion like Reggie Bush got, but how about a house on Grant Street? Call the cellular, bub.
When the Tony Kornheiser Pimp Cartel Cartel moved from PimpsLord to its own cyberspace in August, I decided to adopt a pen name. Why? I don't know. It doesn't make any damn sense. Especially since nine out of 10 people think my real name is made up or stolen from a comic book character, and the other 10% disclose after getting to know me that they couldn't believe my name when they first heard it. It happens every time. Look carefully around the site and you'll figure out what they're havin' a laugh about. Good times.
So, back to the redundant pen name... Did I mention no one can pronounce it? Oh, I'm sorry, I only assumed readers would be familiar with the best soccer/international football player this decade. You know who I'm talking about...
You have no idea do you? Seriously? Damn.
Ronaldinho!
Still nothing?
Really? (Sigh)
Okay, let me walk you through this.
Billynho is a play on the name of Ronaldinho, who is (was) like only the most amazing footie playing wizard of our time.
It's not pronounced Billy-N-ho or Billy-and-ho (like I'm some self-professed amalgamation of myself and Paris Hilton) or Billy No.
Bill-een-yo. Say it seven times so you never forget.
Onto The Siets. Not Sigh-etts. Or See-ets. It's mono-syllabic. Seats. The Seats. The Siets. You got it. 7 times... Go.
Finally, Orel Kornheiser. Free Kornheiser's Cartel shirt to whoever can first guess what his name is a play on. Orel Hershiser and Tony Kornheiser. Looks like I win this time. Pronunciation... Oral Corn-Hize-er. That's right, seven times. I'll wait.
And if you're wondering what happened to Barry Badrinath and dave-o... So am I. They had a few good pieces back a ways didn't they? Last I heard they were off working on Wilbon's Quintuple Squadoosh somewhere. Ever since Barry hooked up with Orel's roommate (that's what everyone is saying at least...), things got a little weird. If you ever come across him in person (or more likely in the virtual world of Call of Duty 5... his handle: Corn Nuzzler), don't bother engaging him in conversation. He's not nearly as funny in person as he is in writing. Despite what Orel tries to tell you.
Fort Lauderdale Dillard running back Trabis Ward is a four-star recruit, but a five-star interview:
"Co yo Larry, we know we good boy... you know how we do... I'm the best in the NAAAATION! I'm gonna be number one right now."
"You saw when I played em, semteem carries, two touchdown, hunderd sixtay-five yards... I was RAPIN' em! If y'all got tha tape, y'all know that! I was spinmoving, shakin tha whole team."
"Ain't no reedddshirtin' me... I only got this on cuz it's camp day!"
And a worthy rival to Marshawn Lynch as football's best interview steps up. He's still attempting to get the test scores he needs to qualify to play next season (shocking). I'm keeping my fingers crossed. America needs him... Bored office workers and stoners across the country depend on videos like this...
Five years. It's hard to believe it's only been that long. To celebrate Erin Andrews and her first half-decade with ESPN, we're revealing EA's diary from the day of a Duke basketball game. Bruce Pearl begged us to take a look at the entry from the day of the Blue Devils' game against Tennessee. What we found was equal parts titillating and terrifying. Enjoy (thanks to Billynho and BA Barry B. for deciphering the pages):
3:23 a.m.- I get woken up by Kirk Herbstreit wearing a Tebow jersey (Big Ten Boyz Luv Southern Belles). I'm instantly horny.
6 a.m.- My phone is ringing. Who could be calling at this hour? All I hear is heavy breathing. Not again. Bruce!
I get my underwear back from Kirk (he's always trying to steal it) and go to take a shower. Only 13 hours until game time, and it's never too early to look your best. 9 a.m.- I finally get in the shower after getting sidetracked staring at myself in the mirror for three hours. I like to get all dolled up so I spend more time looking in the mirror than Amy Winehouse... well, she uses the mirror for something else.
10 a.m.- I call Hef for the 76th straight day to yell at him. I can't believe he finally put a Gator on the cover of Playboy, and it wasn't me! Everyone knows I'm way hotter than that tramp (Debatable).
10:10 a.m. - I text Thad a "knock knock" joke (he isn't amused). He texts me back a blonde joke. I don't understand it. He's always playing jokesies on me though. One time he even told me that he practiced with a shot clock on the floor when the shot clock above the basket broke during a game. What's a shot clock? I just did my sexy laugh in response. Anything I do is sexy. Except to Thad I guess.
10:15 a.m. - I grab a donut and check Deadspin for pics of me. I like to joke that Deadspin is like my Facebook; everybody on there stalks me. And just like on Facebook, I have another profile so that I can post great things about myself without other people knowing it was me. I check at least thirty times a day. They haven't written anything about me for two days! I better put this donut back.
10:20 a.m. - I turn on ESPN to see if they mention me. I'm just in time for that Hanes commercial with Tyrese and the white guy from Major League. Oh boy, Tyrese has really let himself go. I'd still do him. Too bad he doesn't play basketball.
10:30 a.m. - On my way to work. I always listen to the Christmas album I recorded (us hot, talented young celeb women all sing nowadays... Miley, Hil Duff, Lindsay Lohan, Vanessa Hudgens, Kelly Osbourne, Clay Aiken...) for Bret Beliema last year (he wasn't impressed). Anyways, I tried selling the Christmas album in a Jewish neighborhood, which was MY idea :-), but apparently Jews don't like Christmas! I love Christmas! Hmpf. Boo Jews.
10:32 a.m. - I get tired of listening to myself, so I turn on my Sirius radio and Justin Timberlake is playing.
10:36 a.m. - I pull the car over and change into some dry panties. J.T. makes me wet (Ed. note: true story supposedly). I always carry extras, just-in-case.
Noon - Yes, I finally get to eat. Only celery for me today. Gotta save some room for the media buffet at the Duke game on ESPN tonight. Is Duke owned by ESPN? Or is ESPN owned by Duke? Whatever the case, my paychecks are always by (a very sweaty) hand Chris Berman. He usually lingers around my desk for hours. There's nothing worse.
1:45 p.m. - I check Jenn Sterger's Twitter and see that she just got on a plane. I hope they hit a flock pigeons and are nowhere near the Hudson River...
2:30 p.m. - I meet the executives over at EA to do some voice recording for my new game "Erin Andrews Basketball 2010". It is so cute that they named their studio after me. They have a script for me to read, but I told them I always provide my own special in-game analysis. Duh, don't they watch ME? They say they have many times; that's why they want me to read from the script. Like, anyways, I don't care. I'll read whatever. MY game is going to be awesome!
4:00 p.m. - Time to head over to Cameron Indoor Stadium and walk through Kryzewskiville. They even had some J.T. music playing that we danced to for a while. I happily dance with the boys in North Carolina, but I hate how they dance in Los Angeles. I hope the pics make it to Deadspin later...
4:15 p.m. - I head over to makeup and wardrobe. I HAVE to look great tonight. J.T. may be watching. Mmm J.T..
4:16 p.m. - Changed panties again...
6:45 p.m. - After my constant demands requests, they finally got me looking like the filly I really am. Spandex pants and a small sweater (I'm a large).
6:59 p.m. - I catch Steve Lavin staring at me before the opening tip. I'll go flirt with him later.
7:30 p.m. - TV timeout. I'm supposed to listen in on the teams' huddles. I really just walk around so people can see me- and my butt- better. I have a great butt. People tell me all the time.
8:00 p.m. - It's halftime. I talked to a sneering life-size rat which turned out to be Coach K, and he told some wild story about breaking a zone. Umm, I thought we were trying to save the o-zone, not break it. I had no idea what he was talking about, so I smiled and nodded. He's awfully short.
8:05 p.m. - I repeat what Coach K told me, but this time on LIVE TV. It made sense to everyone else.
8:15 p.m. - The second half begins and a drooling Bruce Pearl has just been ejected from the game after crossing the floor in a rabid sprint towards me. Thankfully, Bobby Frasor (my other, cuter stalker) tackled him before he reached me.
9:10 p.m. - The game is over. Actually, it's been over for 15 minutes. I didn't notice, though. I always get sidetracked when I bring my mirror with me.
10:30 p.m. - I make the mistake of leaving my Dolce & Gabbana purse unattended while I walk past the Cameron Crazies. I accidentally dropped by microphone right in front of them. It was great, er, sooo embarassing OMG. As I walk back to get my purse, a man in an orange blazer is rifling through it and runs off with my panties. At first I thought it was Pat Summitt. But no. Bruce again!
11:59 p.m. - I finally get home after a long day and what do I see? Kirk in my bed with his Tebow jersey on. I love my life.
Billynho has to give props to Staff over @ the JC for dishing the word that God Drew Brees had his birthmark removed earlier this season. I applaud the decision. A scar on his face is far more appropriate (But if anyone ever sees his old birthmark on EBay, promise to let me know?). Now he's the muggle version of Harry Potter in appearance and action.
But that's not the only hospital related bit of news on Brees I have to offer you Brees-stalking muggles! Just like Harry, Brees is now a father. He blessed his wife Brittany by impregnating her and something wonderful came out yesterday for Brees's 30th birthday.
********OBLIGATORY JOKE ALERT******** If Purdue football coach Danny Hope hasn't offered the boy/girl a scholarship yet, he better get on that. Hee Haw! ********OBLIGATORY JOKE ALERT OVER********
How jealous are you of that kid? And Drew's wife...
Third Eye Blind's Out of the Vein is an underrated album.
Dunkeroos were the ultimate lunchtime cafeteria dessert for tweens in the 1990's.
Adding baking soda to toothpaste presents no benefit for your teeth.
The Big Ten Network's Tim Doyle is the worst studio analyst I've ever heard (apologies to NBA TV's Eric Snow).
Guylyn, Remmenga, Cummins of 501 West Broadway in San Diego is one of the top First Amendment law firms in America.
The Big Ten will win the Big Ten/ACC Challenge at least six times in the next decade.
Most of the Big Ten's basketball programs are on the rise. They've amassed nearly as much coaching talent as the SEC has for football and a handful of teams have unbelievable recruiting classes already committed for 2010. And Indiana has stopped cheating.
What follows is a ranking of how well-positioned the Big Ten's basketball programs are today and beyond:
1) Ohio State - Thanks to Greg Oden, THE Ohio State University is now THE destination for the nation's best young big men. Kosta Koufus was a disappointment and BJ Mullens is struggling, but they've already got three of the top 20 players (DeShaun Thomas, Jared Sullinger, and Jordan Sibert) in the country committed for 2010. Thad Matta has made Ohio State hot and it doesn't look like things will be changing anytime soon. The Buckeyes will be a threat to win the National Championship until Matta bolts. Of course, he'll never need to because the Buckeyes have the richest athletic department in the NCAA. 2) Illinois - If Illini fans had their wish a year and a half ago, non-nude model Bruce Weber would be looking for work. Lucky for them, he's still got the job and has Illinois poised to move back to the top of the polls. Their 2009 class is really nice with four-stars Brandon Paul and D.J. Richardson and three-stars Tyler Griffey and Joseph Bertrand (who each had a slew of major offers). 2010 is scary for the rest of the league with five-stars Crandall Head and Jereme Richmond and four-star center Meyers Leonard. They'll be back in the Final Four soon. Of course, they would've been back sooner had Weber, then an assistant under Gene Keady at Purdue, followed through on the interest he showed in me as a 10-year old when he called me a "great shooter." Yeah, I was pretty good.
3) Michigan State - Their 2009 and 2010 classes aren't bad, but they aren't special either (example: Fort Wayne wing commit Russell Byrd wasn't even offered by Purdue). They've been so good for so long that it's hard to put them lower than number three. But the Spartans could be primed for a fall in what looks to be a vastly improved Big Ten over the next few years, unless a great 2008-09 season restores the program's reputation nationally.
4) Purdue - For a spell, the Boilermakers looked a threat to become the next Duke. Had they landed Tyler Zeller (or Jeff Teague or Matt Howard for that matter), they'd be well on their way; instead, they had to settle for John Hart, Scott Martin transferred, and this season has been a bit of a mess. Their 2009 commits are uninspiring, but a three-man 2010 class has hopes up in West Lafayette. The current sophomore trio has to make a run deep in the tournament before they're done, or Purdue will miss yet another opportunity to finally ascend among the nation's elite with regularity. Probably the latter; this is Purdue after all. Sigh... 5) Indiana - A six-man 2009 group combined with the competence of Antarctic explorer Tom Crean will restore the Hoosiers to respectability immediately. Looking further ahead, 2011 point guard Matt Carlino will be fun to watch. Indiana really needs time to recover from a volatile last ten years. From never knowing when Bob Knight's reign would come to a fiery end, to always wondering when Mike Davis would finally be pushed out, and then becoming even more of a laughingstock after hiring known cheater Kelvin Sampson, they've finally got it right in Bloomington. Crean will have them challenging for conference titles in no time.
6) Wisconsin - The Badgers have a remarkably personable, colorful coach, which makes the bland, bald, white guy culture in Madison all the more puzzling. Where do they keep finding all these lookalikes? Is cloning legal in Wisconsin? If it ever was it must still be, because they've got two new cult members on the way in Mike Bruesewitz and Evan Anderson. Diamond Taylor and Vander Blue will balance out the boring with funky names and real athletic ability. On the whole, Wisconsin will probably keep being Wisconsin... ranked near the bottom of the top-25, making shocking runs in March, and keeping scores in the 50's.
7) Minnesota - It's a testament to how deep the league will be more than an indictment that Tubby Smith is doing something wrong in Minnesota that they're ranked this low. They've been a revelation this year and will probably make the NCAA Tournament. They'll add potential superstars Royce White and Rodney Williams next year to a nice core. In reality, they'll be outstanding for the next few seasons. But longer term, Tubby Smith is almost 60 and could struggle to keep top recruits suiting up for the Golden Gophers.
8) Michigan - John Beilein has the right idea placing an emphasis on recruits in the state of Indiana. He's got two key freshmen from the Hoosier State in Zack Novak and Stu Douglass and is already hot for 2011 prospect Mitch McGary. Beilein is a great coach who put West Virginia on the map behind lightly regarded- yet super fashionable- Kevin Pittsnogle and Mike Gansey. He's hinting at doing the same with Michigan already; I'll probably look foolish in five years for putting the Wolverines this low.
9) Iowa - Todd Lickliter was fantastic at Butler and has the right mentality to succeed at Iowa. Unfortunately, their current talent level lags behind the rest of the league, and it will be a tall order for him to level the playing field for the Hawkeyes. He'll have to do more with less, just like he did while posting gaudy records with the Bulldogs. Give Lickliter a few years to develop his current group. Jake Kelly is much better this year, and Matt Gatens and Anthony Tucker provide hope for the future. Lickliter has yet to nab a four-star, but a mature, experienced guard-heavy line-up could surprise the Big Ten in a few years.
10) Penn State - The current squad at Penn State may be as good as it gets in Happy Valley. The superb play of Talor Battle and Stanley Pringle is a testament to Ed DeChellis's eye for talent. But he'll have to get lucky to ever get the Nittany Lions into the NCAA Tournament.
11) Northwestern - Nothing against Bill Carmody, but why do analysts constantly praise him as the perfect coach for Northwestern? They've yet to be a threat to even be decent with him, and he'll never recruit well enough to move them up the standings. You can't win in the Big Ten if Tim Doyle, Kevin Coble, and Craig Moore are your stars. You probably couldn't win in the MAC either. It's easy to think that Northwestern will never be good, but it's possible. They need to take a risk with their next hire (How long is Carmody going to be given a free pass, anyways?). They should either go after the head coach of a Division II national champion (someone who's proven to be a good talent evaluator) or hire a top AAU coach who has the connections to bring talent. A third option might be to hire a European coach who can attract foreign studs to Evanston for an education and exposure to NBA scouts. None will guarantee success, but they'd be interesting to watch. Until then, they'll continue to be the conference doormat.
Life in West Point can get lonely for a 23 year old male. Too young for the Lion's Club, too poor for the Steakhouse, and too healthy for the cemetery; there's just no place for me to make friends! So, the first thing I do every morning is read the J&C Personals. They haven't done me much good yet (I'm six rejections deep), but I have come across some interesting listings: LOST CONNECTION WLTR 38 Y.O. strict disciplinarian WINNER seeking to add depth back into his life. You were a tall, blond, nice, unselfish southpaw. I watched you grow up, we took bus trips, I yelled at you, we visited the Capital… then you left. Let's play ball (again)! Text MARTbrokIN to (555) NDS-UCKS
HARD-WORKING LITTLE DEVIL 18 Y.O. QB, W. Laf, wants to stay close to home. Seeking relationship with mustached authority figure. I'm smart, tough, I don't lose, and I'd look great in gold and black. Don't miss out on the next-Josh Smith! Text Matt Lancaster at (555) ILO-VEPU
YOU'RE MY MAN Shout out to my man Matt Painter. Tough going thus far this season, but I know you'll whip them into shape. Don't forget who brought you here. You're MY coach. Make me YOUR AD forever this offseason! How's $2.5 million a year sound? Let me know… Text Morgan Burke at (555) STA-Y@PU
I'M YOUR BEST HOPE You're the Kansan RB ranked first in the country. I'm the old, white guy with the backward Purdue cap stalking you the last few months. I want to buy you books and your own room (sorta), dress you up, watch you run, and see you off to the NFL. Let's make my your dreams come true? Text Bryce Brown to (555) PRT-YPLZ
Congratulations to the Utah Utes. Utah handily defeated the Crimson Tide to win the 2009 Sugar Bowl. You finished the football season undefeated (13-0) and if a national title must be handed out to Div-I football then I believe you should receive that honor.
The Alabama Crimson Tide were a quality opponent, finishing the year with only 2 losses (the other coming to Florida in the SEC championship game). Yet this just goes to prove my point that teams from non-BCS conferences can compete with and beat the teams from BCS conferences. This was the 4th time that a team from outside the BCS conferences were allowed to play in a BCS bowl and marks the 3rd victory (.750 winning percentage). Everyone likes to point to Hawaii's embarrassing performance in last year's Sugar Bowl, but why not look at Utah and Boise State's victories?
I realize that many will disagree with my opinion that Utah is the rightful national champion but until college football figures out this BCS nonsense, they shouldn't be removed from consideration. Taking advice from a commenter on my previous BCS article, why do we need to crown a National Champ? My only problem is that either Florida or Oklahoma will be given this honor. The thing that seperates these squads from the Utes? One loss.
(Editor's Note: Troubled by my depiction of her, Iuns sweetly volunteered to offer a differing account of her sports watching experience and an explanation as to why she never embraced football. Read on to find out which sport she did grow to appreciate! Also, if you're not convinced she's a female by appearance alone, look closely and see shoe shopping going on. And yes, those are skinny arms. Crucial...)
The more inquisitive (Editor's Note: and sexist) of you readers may be asking yourselves, what is a woman with as little sports knowledge and enthusiasm such as myself doing guest writing for a sports blog sponsored by a sporting-obsessed aficionado such as Billynho? That, dear readers, is exactly the question I will be muttering and mulling over as I type out this piece.
All issues of personal knowledge aside, I have had the honor of witnessing Billynho pursue basketball, football, futbol, cycling, cross country, and basically every other sport man has been crazy enough to invent (with the sordid exceptions of cricket and wrestling) firsthand. This would be a convenient time to mention that I happen to be the crazy ex-girlfriend mentioned on occasion. Despite the slander on my sanity, I am Billynho’s greatest fan and love nothing better than to read his articles over breakfast. Since I will assume that you readers love to do the same, I’m going to divulge some insight into his character. Firstly, the issue of his extensive knowledge in practically every faction of the sporting world demands to be mentioned. Waking up in the morning the man immediately jumped out of bed and onto his computer chair, from where he purused European soccer results. Then he would pore over LetsRun, either deriding or lauding opinions, but engrossed all the same. Next Billynho would check Fox Sports, Deadspin, ESPN, and whatever other sites he could manage before the sound of my whining became too much for him, and he had to drag his attention back to me. The moment I let my guard down, however, Billynho would escape and cycle endlessly through sports sites once again. Thinking about it almost induces irritant twitching in my right and most sensitive eye. Luckily I have excellent motor control, and we can instead move onto other issues.
One to which all sporting aficionados (I'm sure) can relate is the attempt to convince your significant other that they would become even more significant to you if they would just become as enthused about soccer/track/hockey/arm wrestling as you are. In an attempt not to stereotype, because doubtless out there in this world are sporting-lusting women strong-arming their helpless boyfriend into watching their much revered favorite sport, I will assume that “you” can be male or female. In my case, Billynho was the one who pushed me towards watching more sports. His first attempt was college football. In an ironic and crushing twist of fate, the first football game I attended was the slaughter of our beloved Purdue by the dastardly devils at Ohio State. Clearly it did not provide a fortuitous start towards my long lasting love of football. Subsequent games were slightly more interesting as he took more care to describe player biographies to me and they did not involve the destruction of my alma mater. I am going to emphasize this point: everyone loves character development. Books include it. Television series depend upon it. Why oh why, therefore, would a man think a woman would enjoy watching a sport where she knows nothing about the players? She doesn’t. Therefore supplying your significant other with a brief history of some key players is going to be the MVP move in winning their interest. All the same and despite Billynho’s best efforts, I never really gained the deeper appreciation most men seem to have for football.
Basketball, however, is a very different story. A grand total of ten players are much easier to remember than eighty, and their roles on the court are more self explanatory. Surprising amounts of success from a young and untried team also helps to add to the excitement. As the Purdue “Baby Boilers” (inane name, but you still have to adore them) clawed their way skyward in college basketball rankings, my budding love hitched a ride. Who can argue with Hummel, Martin (recently departed but instantly replaced in my heart by lewjack), JaJuan J, and E’Twaun? Certainly not I. Instead I held my breath, gasped, cheered, screamed and cursed alongside the best of them (and arguably even more than Billynho) for the entire winter.
With a phenomenal season record like that, you would think that your team would have a shot at playing for the national title. You knocked off several ranked opponents and won not only your conference, but beat your rivals and teams from the power conferences.
Yet the Utah Utes and the Boise State Broncos will not be playing for the crystal football in South Florida on January 8.
Instead, that night college football fans will watch as the Oklahoma Sooners play the Florida Gators in a less than neutral Dolphin Stadium. Their records (12-1 and 12-1) are blemished. I'll be the first to admit that the Big 12 (especially its South Division) and the SEC were the best conferences in college football this year. However, what makes these two one loss teams any better than USC, Penn State, Texas, or Texas Tech (all with 11-1 records)? If these teams had played in conference championships then they too would likely have 12-1 records.
In addition to these snubbed BCS squads, my original point still rings true. Boise State and Utah are UNDEFEATED. I have no reason to root for these squads. I'm a Purdue Boilermaker fan from the Midwest and have never been to Utah or Idaho. Yet I can't help but want to pull my hair out when I see that these two undefeated squads are locked out of the championship. In fact, Boise State will even be locked out of the BCS altogether.
What else can these schools do? They have won every game that they have played this year (something that no other schools can claim). Yet they happen to play in conferences that the NCAA has deemed inferior. To be fair, there are a lot of bad teams in the WAC and MWC. Idaho, New Mexico State, San Diego State, and Wyoming were atrocious. But, schools like TCU, BYU, and Nevada help bring in balance. The SEC and Big 12 are not without their doormats either. Baylor, Iowa State, Mississippi State, Auburn, and even Tennessee were awful as well.
Even if you feel, for some odd reason, that the Utes and Broncos shouldn't be playing for the national title, I think you have to admit that they deserve to be a part of the most prestigious bowls, the BCS. And yet, the Broncos look to be excluded from this group in favor of the ACC and Big East champions. Virginia Tech has an extremely impressive 9-4 record against the stellar ACC this year and the Cincinnatti Bearcats, although 11-2, played in a Big East that was arguably no better than the MWC or WAC this year.
Ultimately it boils down to the same point that I have been making over the last few years. In college football, if the only metric we have for truly comparing teams is wins and losses, then how can teams with better records than those in the championship be denied their shot at glory? To say they can't compete is ludicrous, all you have to do is look at Utah in 2004 and Boise State in 2006. Sadly those two teams won't get a chance to play each other to decide who is the best team in football this year.
Billynho knows all about looking good. I brush my teeth (thrice weekly), comb my hair (bi-monthly), and exercise regularly (okay, that's a lie). Clearly, I'll do whatever it takes (within reason).
But when I read that USC is willing to surrender two time-outs just to wear their red jerseys against UCLA this weekend... ugh. Most ridiculous, unfathomable idea ever. Doesn't Pete Carroll know they'll charge the Trojans with a time-out every time Mark Sanchez's knee pops out of socket?
Shout out! Weezy's back with another installment, and his Easter-pink Sprite is a little pinker this week.
Shout Out Count: Six, still none for Billynho The song to read to: Cool Kids ft/ Lil Wayne- Gettin' It
Nelly was a really good baseball player growing up, man. He could have gone to the league but he chose a different path. He's a diehard St. Louis fan and it's kind of crazy, actually. We bet on games sometimes and last year we bet a pretty large sum of money on the Hornets. Nelly didn't think they'd make it past the first round and I did, so we put money on it. When I beat him he had to pay me $19,000 dollars. That's the most I've ever bet on sports. I try not to get too crazy or bet anything too major that I would really miss. We have so much in common! You see, my brother was a really good wrestler (he claims) growing up. He could've gone to semi-state (he claims), but he chose to... well, I'm not sure he did anything else instead. But HEY, we bet sometimes, too! Last year, we bet $10 on how good of a basketball season Purdue would have. I won. Seems $10 was a little too rich; he couldn't pay up. Oh wait, you said $19,000? Never mind, I guess we don't have much in common after all... (sniff)
I had a bet with Shawty Lo on the Eagles and the Giants and I lost, so I owe him something but I won't say what.
And the best part about that fight was that Artest did not even move. He did not get involved. I felt bad when Steve Nash got knocked to the floor, that poor little guy. Rafer Alston's from the playground, so that's gonna happen. Shout out to him because that's my homie.
Note to self: Avoid at all costs the gang of fourth graders ballin' at Cheesman's Court every day.
D-Wade's a cool guy, but I've never really been invited to his games. I guess I need tickets. I guess we could play video games or something together when we're both home, but I don't know if he plays and I'm not so good. I like to play golf and soccer video games, anyway.
I know how you feel. That blonde who sat in front of me in Anthropology last spring seemed really nice. I probably should've gotten her number. My favorite board game is Monopoly. I mean, I maybe would've been willing to play Monopoly with her. I like to use the shoe, because I like shoes. If she doesn't like Monopoly, I'm really good at Clue, too.
I want to learn how to really play golf. I've only been to a driving range once, but I was too young to be interested. I know the game well and I always wonder how good I'd be if I really worked at it. It's a very strategic game and I'm kind of OK at things like that. I will do it one day, but of course I've got to get it right.
You know, I'm decent at chess (I know the POINT SYSTEM). But I've never been taught or anything. I'm smart (I am. I AM!), I could maybe be somewhat, kinda, sorta, possibly average at chess if I ever devoted myself to the game. Ahh, dreams.
I've totally, totally ignored Joe Flacco on the blog, and for that I apologize.
Some have questioned why Mackey Arena at Purdue can't sell out anymore after over a decade of packed houses. To that I stare back as my stomach lurches, and query how they still pull in 13,000 nightly with the atrocious alimentation available? Where to begin...! Upon arriving, diners are herded like cattle through gates and required to show a ticket to very old men wearing matching tacky gold and black uniforms. The cost to even enter this establishment is over $20, and most pay a yearly membership to "John Purdue's Club" to ensure prime seating. Why anyone would pay extra for "better" seating in this filthy over-glorified concrete barn is beyond me! Every seat is the same; uncomfortable, hard, and around more old people. And did I mention there's no seat back? (Shudder) Don't even ask about silverware or a table.
After being entertained for almost an hour by a charming game of baskethoop, patrons file out into a concourse where they wait in line to order the food. By this point, it was 8:00 P.M., and I must say I was famished... hungry enough to eat a metaphorical horse.
If only.
Instead I was served a supposed "hot" dog wrapped in a stale, uninspiring pathetic excuse for a baguette, a plastic tin of salted crisps with neon-yellow dipping cheese, a cold, oversized pretzel with the taste and texture of a decade-old salted cardboard box, overly salted popcorn lathered in a coat of faux-butter, eight miniature Butterfingers bars (that I had to open MYSELF!), and a Coke with faint traces of ice (that I noticed in my lap after bringing the cheap cup to my face and realizing that the lid--- yes, they have lids at this restaurant [sic]--- wasn't snapped on.). Total Outlay: $17
And did I mention the hapless service? (restaurant critic rereads above transgressions and confirms that he did not, in fact, mention the service) Ahem. After reading up on the State of Indiana's Labor Codes, I shall be sending notice henceforth to the mayor of the municipality of West Lafayette to notify him of dozens of horrific counts of child labor violations.
Please allow me to describe the young lad who took my order... Eight years old.
In the event that isn't enough to disgust even the least demanding of diners, I'll go into more detail. The food counter stood nary an inch above my belly button, and he was a good six inches shorter than that. What he possessed in enthusiasm for the job and effort in counting my money, he lacked in math skills (I was shorted $2 in change; I considered it the tip) and the ability to reach the Butterfingers. Luckily, his mom was available to help. And when I inquired as to the locale of the Grey Poupon, he had the gall to direct me towards the restroom, with grim order to, "Poop in there."
To the lavatory I went, obediently and gladly. Whilst there, I deposited my food right into the trashcan, washed away any germs acquired in hand-to-hand dealings with l'enfant, and proceeded to drive myself straight to the fine, classic, culinary restaurant Monical's Pizza where I cry myself back to happiness through the sweet gluttonous satisfaction found in a pepperoni pizza and Mr. Pibb.
Rating: *
Mackey Arena
1000 North University Street West Lafayette, IN 47907
765-494-3194
Open: Game Nights
Entree prices: $3- $3.50
Credit cards: None accepted, cash only
Reservations: Required
Noise: Conversation-unfriendly. Shout to be heard.
Texas Tech's victory over Texas was not yet complete before Brent Musberger was already speculating in coffee/Werther's/whisky-breathed (this is how I picture Musberger smelling) rasps about whether Washington might like Mike Leach to fill their coaching vacancy.
To borrow the new adage from Bad Santa, Washington's Athletic Director will find that if he "wishes in one hand and shits in the other," one hand will stink long before the nation's brightest passing coach shows up in Seattle.
But that doesn't mean Texas Tech's program is head-and-shoulders above all others for the flaky Leach. Still, the "mad scientist" would have to be truly insane to leave Lubbock this offseason. Whatever happens from here, Leach will face a question that every successful coach under the age of 60 considers... Can I win a national championship where I am?
First, he should read the tales of coaches he knows well who have given into the temptation of supposed greener pastures somewhere else.
Tyrone Willingham, the coach who Musberger bizarrely believes Leach might replace, had job security, a stable program, and California weather at Stanford. He traded that for a bigger contract (that he never saw out), an impatient fan base, and crappy faux-Irish bars. Like many Notre Dame coaches before him, he's facing involuntary early retirement.
Dennis Franchione, who Leach helped procure a pink slip with victories in their last three match-ups against each other, achieved God-like status at Alabama, where football is religion, in leading the Crimson Tide to a 10-3 season under the dark cloud of bowl probation. Franchione wanted more, and one can't help but assume he didn't find it in five tumultuous years at Texas A&M.
Bob Stoops, Leach's boss when he was the offensive coordinator at Oklahoma, has wisely, repeatedly turned down the advances of doe-eyed, deep-pocketed athletic directors across the nation. He's in his tenth year at the helm of the Sooners and enjoys unrivaled job security in Norman.
Unrivaled until Leach gave Texas Tech's fan base, where football is LIFE, a triple dose of Paxil-esque relief to cure 80 years of depression from playing second-fiddle to in-state rivals Texas with Saturday night's victory.
And tonight, with Texas Tech perched at #2 in the BCS rankings, Leach can finally affirmatively answer the aforementioned question: Can I win a national championship where I am?
Tech controls its destiny from here, but even if they lose to Oklahoma and Oklahoma State before season's end... even if they lag upon the graduation of Graham Harrell next year and lose five games... even if, God forbid!, it's revealed that he lied on his initial resume to Texas Tech... Mike Leach's job security is safe. Lubbock will forever be indebted to him. He's sitting in a recruiting gold-mine. He can win a national championship at Texas Tech.
So if Washington comes calling after the season, he shouldn't even answer the phone. If Clemson comes calling before Tech's BCS bowl game, he should politely say no. And if Tennessee comes calling after the bowl games, he should listen and let Tech match their contract offer.
But if Pete Carroll goes to the NFL, and USC shows up and rings his doorbell... well, he'd be crazy not to go!
The internet is abuzz with all things sport lately, which makes writing articles like this fairly easy. In fact, I was able to churn this out in about the time it took Kimbo to get knocked out (too soon?).
Read on to see the best the internet has to offer (at least for the time being). Baseball:
The ALCS and NLCS are set! Games will begin on Thursday in Philly. The superbly written and designed Phillies Nation points out that usual stud Chase Utley has been less than stellar so far in the playoffs. For the Phils' sake, I hope he can rebound. [Phillies Nation]
One of the Cartel's favorites, Core-Pat, will be looking for work. [Red Hot Mama]
Apparently it's not just Prince Fielder and CC. Baseball Reference tells us that the big leagues are getting even bigger as of late. [Baseball Reference]
Football:
My buddy pointed out to me that the 'Cats of N'western are undefeated, but only after a cupcake first 5 games. With that said, they may stun the superior Spartans and there is no doubt that they'll knock off my Boilers in Evanston. As for their schedule to date, check it out. [ESPN]
BYU is rolling. But, will the Cougs stumble even before they play their toughest on-paper opponent (not to mention hated rival) in Salt Lake City? [Salt Lake Tribune]
Marvin Lewis may be a bad coach, but this little gem makes us chuckle. [Stripe Hype]
Billynho and I watched the 'Aints lose to the Vikes last night and we couldn't help but slightly disagree with some of the officiating decisions. Looks like the NFL is sending their cleanup crews around to tidy up this mess, including the Saints' homepage. [ProFootballTalk]
In an effort to avoid any copyright infringement, I'll speak in generalizations when commenting on the theme of today's Gold and Black subscription article. The teaser claimed "No one could have foreseen quarterback play being a serious issue for the Boilermakers this season." Ummm, seriously? I did! I knew! Me. I called it! I saw it coming from a mile away, months away, a few years away. So did Orel Kornheiser, so did Barry Badrinath, so did... come to think of it, EVERYONE I KNOW KNEW THIS WAS COMING. Not guess, not figured, we all KNEW it was gonna happen. No one could have seen this coming? Not the entire Purdue student section who booed him every game last season... not half of Purdue message boarders who pined for Justin Siller all summer... not Miss Cleo? Come on, dude. Even if you don't believe me, admit Miss Cleo definitely knew.
How could you not see this coming? Curtis Painter seems like a great person, really nice, friendly, humble, which is important (I mean that). He doesn't poison the team with a bad attitude like Brandon Kirsch. He plays hard every down and will smash into a defender if it'll get Purdue a few extra yards. But a) he's only a good passer with a lot of time, and even then he's inconsistent b) he seems unwilling to run, which is a problem in Purdue's "spread offense" (can we really call it that if our QB doesn't run?) c) he looks like a Furby, and d) as everyone knows, he's never led Purdue to a victory over a decent team, and e) he locks in on one target and rarely goes through his progressions, which caused him to miss a widewidewide WIDE-open Keith Smith in the end zone on 3rd-and-10 against Notre DameleavingitalluptoCHRISSUMMERS!!! Sorry, I had to get that out...
I know what you're thinking... "He does look like a Furby! That's so true! But we've heard everything else before."
I'll tackle his play from a different angle... Painterites and announcers like to say, "Well he's gonna break a bunch of Drew Brees's records, so he can't be that bad," or "Come on dude, no quarterback was going to lead us to victory against the Michigans or Ohio States or Penn States."
Who did Drew Brees and Kyle Orton have to throw and handoff to? Take your pick of all the running backs, wide receivers and tight ends that played for Joe Tiller before Painter became starter... Joey Harris, Vinny Sutherland, Chris Daniels, John Standeford, and Tim Stratton seem like fair choices, but you could throw Montrell Lowe, Taylor Stubblefield, Randall Lane, or Isaac Jones in there if you'd like. Am I crazy, or are the quintet of Korey Sheets, Greg Orton, Selwyn Lymon, Dorien Bryant (Desmond Tardy has been extremely impressive this season... NFL-level if you ask me), and Dustin Keller more impressive? I think I'd rather have the five Painter enjoyed in his first few seasons as starter; a perfect blend of size, quickness, speed, explosiveness, and hands.
But they've been wasted! And I didn't see that coming.
I wish Miss Cleo would've warned me when I got my hopes up as they each committed.
Full Disclosure: I'm a Big Ten fan. But I'm not like any of you all... SEC, Big 12, Pac-10, ACC, Big East, or fellow Big Ten fans. I'll swallow my pride and admit it; the Big Ten is weak at football this year and has been down this whole decade. They can't hang with the SEC or Big 12, and I'm not real interested in where they slot in the lexicon with the rest of the pretenders. Purdue could run the table in conference this season (really, they could), and I wouldn't be impressed (really, I wouldn't).
But as cynical and pessimistic as I am about the conference today, I've got a raging clue at the thought of where it's headed. The Big Ten is stockpiling top head coaches, and traditionally pathetic programs are squirreling out of hibernation with a metaphorical nutsack loaded with highly ranked recruits. In just a few years, we may not blink at the sight of eight ranked conference teams. Big Ten fans may be disappointed to see just six at one time in 2011.
Read on as I rank the Big Ten's football programs in order of just how fat they'll get feasting on wins in the near future:
1) Ohio State - In the last six seasons going into 2008, the Buckeyes had won 70 games, finished in the top-four of the coaches' poll five times, and earned at least a share of four Big Ten titles. Despite some unimpressive national title game performances and a meek loss to USC, they're showing no signs of slowing down. They already have 25 commitments for their 2009 recruiting class (including one five-star and 17 four-star prospects) that is ranked number one by Rivals, and last year's mega-signee Terrelle Pryor is looking like Texas Vince Young. Assuming Ohio State fans don't boo their young quarterback (and turn him into another Tennessee Vince Young), they can expect to see their team in BCS games every January.
2) Michigan - Their new head coach is a certifiable creeper, got his fellow conference coaches all butthurt with some shady recruiting practices, and pissed off his home state. Pretty much everyone hates him. Word doesn't seem to have reached recruits; Michigan's got 10 four-star commits in 2009, and their class is ranked sixth nationally. He did win four Big East titles in his last five seasons at West Virginia, so it's fair to assume he's got the coaching perspicacity that Lloyd Carr lacked. Once he's got a sickass running quarterback in place, Michigan will once again be on level footing with Ohio State. With how drawn high schoolers are to those sweet helmets, there's no reason for Michigan to ever be ranked outside the top-10. They won't be ever again once Rodriguez gets this Lamborghini in fifth gear. 3) Penn State - Recruiting has fallen off dramatically (they haven't been ranked in the top-20 in the team rankings since their 2006 class), and JoePa is still in good health and may be around for awhile yet. But they're loaded on both sides of the ball and primed for 10+ wins this season, Galen Hall seems to have revived a stagnant offense since coming in as offensive coordinator, and when (if?) Joe Paterno is replaced, the job will be an easy sell to hot coaching candidates thanks to crowds of 100,000+ at every home game. If Paterno retires soon and the new coach locks down the state of Pennsylvania, Penn State should be a fixture near the top of the polls like the two teams above them.
4) Michigan State - Their 2009 recruiting class is shaping up to be amazing (ranked 16th by Rivals right now, eight four-stars already). Sure they're probably cheating, but so is the whole SEC. And most of the SEC is ranked, which Michigan State will be every year come 2010 (and maybe sooner). Mark Dantonio's track record with Ohio State and at Cincinnati suggests he's a pretty good coach, too. If Brian Hoyer turns it around, they might be able to take advantage of the Big Ten being down this season and win a conference championship. If that were to happen, and Javon Ringer ends up a first round pick (which he shouldn't), the program could take off faster and higher than anyone expects.
5) Minnesota - Ripped mercilessly while winning just one game all last season for firing Glen Mason, the job Tim Brewster did in recruiting and on the field thus far this season has been overlooked. The Golden Gophers somehow pulled seven four-star recruits last season and have quadrupled their 2007 win total in just five games this year. Brewster seems to favor mobile quarterbacks, and they pulled one of the nation's best in MarQueis Gray last year, but he ended up academically ineligible. If Gray can get on the field, he could be Minnesota's Juice Williams... an exciting poster boy for a hot program. Then Minnesota fans will just have to worry about whether Brewster will stay loyal; hypocritical when you think back to what happened to Mason. 6) Wisconsin - Did you realize that Wisconsin ended the season ranked only six times in 16 years with Barry Alvarez at the helm? That shocked me. It's true, though. So it seems the perception of this program exceeds its production. Still Bret Bielema has them looking just like they did throughout Alvarez's tenure. Never lauded for their recruiting, the Badgers consistently make the most of the talent they get. "Jump Around" is pretty lame (fine,I'm just jealous), but the state of this program will always be healthy.
7) Illinois - Settle... I know the Illini were the sexy program, Juice is attracting kids from all over, etc... But Illinois has a lot talent now, yet they're not really performing. It's the ultimate Catch-22; Ron Zook is the reason Illinois has pulled a string of strong classes, but his coaching is holding them back. They'll continue to be exciting, consistently win six to nine games and chill around the bottom of the top-25 polls. But that'll make them run-of-the-mill in the new Big Ten. There's a cieling to where they can go with Zook leading them.
8) Northwestern - The Wildcats went 10-6 in Big Ten play over Randy Walker's last two seasons as head coach. Their record fell off in Pat Fitzgerald's first two seasons, but the Wildcats are 5-0 and looking good today. Recruiting is picking up; Fitzgerald has already landed a commitment from four-star lineman Patrick Ward (their first four-star commit since 2002), who was offered by Notre Dame, Wisconsin, and Illinois among others, along with four other three-stars. Fitzgerald's got the D playing stout (they're allowing just over 12 points a game); adding a little more talent in the future could be enough to put the Wildcats into the polls with regularity.
9) Purdue - The talent level in West Lafayette has bottomed out in an unbelievable way. Players change positions in midweek and start on Saturday. Highly rated signees have failed to show up on campus, and when they have they've been busts. The players show nary a modicum of fire. Luckily, Danny Hope is waiting to take over from longtime (and very successful) coach Joe Tiller. By all accounts, Hope works and recruits around the clock. He gets in players' faces at practice. And he's trying to bring in the best talent in the country. On that topic, the nation's top running back recruit, Bryce Brown, is slated to take an official visit this fall. If Brown switches his commitment from Miami to Purdue (and doesn't turn out to be a baseball player, stab victim, or serial beater of women), then Purdue gets moved up this list a few ticks.
10) Iowa - Has any coach's star burned out faster than Kirk Ferentz's? Just two years after thrilling Hawkeyes fans by signing one of the richest contracts in college football, many of the same supporters were hoping a botched rape investigation would bring him down. What went wrong? Jake Christensen turned out to be more Paul Burmeister than Brad Banks and the vaunted 2005 recruiting class didn't pan out. A return to double-digit win seasons seems unlikely. Staying bowl eligible every year might be a lofty goal. 11) Indiana - The Hoosiers look to have taken a step back in Bill Lynch's second season as head coach, but there's even reason for optimism in Bloomington. 14 of 16 2009 commits are three-stars (although six lack other high-major offers), suggesting that there will more talent in a re-done Memorial Stadium than in 15 years. Indiana will be better on the field than during last year's bowl campaign, but the Big Ten is going to be so deep it probably won't be enough for them to kick open the cellar door.
Featured Game of the Week: #18 Wake Forest over #24 Florida State, 12-3
In the past, Doak Campbell Stadium has been one of the toughest stadiums in, not just college football, but in any sport. To put this into perspective, before the loss to the Demon Deacons, Bowden was 59-6-0 at home against ACC opponents.
Now, for just the second-time in school history, Florida State has lost three consecutive meetings to a conference opponent. Thank goodness that opponent was a traditional powerhouse like Miami, or Virginia Tech. Wait...it was who? Wake Forest?
No, not in basketball baby birds, but in football.
And no no no, don't go thinking Booby has lost his touch. He still loves to touch...
Anyways, the (un)lucky number for the Seminoles in this game was seven. And for once, that was not the amount of players arrested in a weekend fight. SEVEN turnovers (two fumbles, five interceptions).
They managed only 102 rushing yards. And the worst part is, Wake Forest rushed 38 times for a measly 59 yards and still won. That's 1.6 per fellas!
Florida State had possession of the ball five times in the fourth quarter, and turned the ball over how many times? Five.
Thank goodness this coach hasn't stayed on too long.
----------------
#9 Alabama over ARKANSAS, 49-14
In case you didn't know, even after they drew over 80,000 people to their spring game for the second year in a row, Alabama is back!
Former Big Ten coach Nick Saban, boosted by the depth that 2008's number-one ranked recruiting class (according to Rivals.com) provides, seems to have hit his stride in the SEC. After the dismantling of the the blue ballin' Nutt-less Arkansas (they still have the Dick), Alabama sent shivers through the rest of the conference. Granted, Arkansas was picked to finish near the bottom of the SEC in nearly all prognastications, except for Bobby Petrino's list of easiest places to make $3 million and then bail thereafter.
A part of me wants to forgive Arkansas for falling so far, so fast. Then I realize they haven't actually fallen anywhere. Three years ago, they were a four win team. Two years ago, they shocked the world with their 10 victories. Last year, despite the crazy awesome combination of Darren McFadden and Felix Jones, the Razorbacks ONLY finished with EIGHT wins. There can not have been a bigger waste of talent in the history of college football than that effort.
Wait...I forgot about Florida State, EVERY YEAR!
#13 OHIO STATE over Troy
Déjà vu for the Buckeyes.
A week after the "Trojan Suicide" the Buckeyes rebounded against yet another Trojan squad. And of course, Todd Boeckman was back to his normal form with a season-high four touchdown passes in the game.
Wait...I'm hearing that Trizzel himself benched Boeckman in favor of uber talented freshman Terrell Pryor, and that he threw for the four touchdowns.
Well, I guess I'll go on the record and say that I was wrong about Pryor, for now. I'm still thinking Boeckman is better for the Buckeyes this season though. I also thought the Bears should draft Curtis Enis and the Celtics should draft Len Bias. I guess I am just Bias(ed). Haha...err...
Arizona over UCLA, 31-10
Well, since I had to take a break from my man crush on Sammy Bradford this week, I may as well talk about how his coach's brother fared.
I have to say, Mike Stoops, the coach on the BudweiserKornheiser Hot Seat, I am really disappointed.
After witnessing the shellacking handed to the Bruisin' Bruins at the hands of the Stormin' Mormons last week, I figured we were in for another cleansing of the Neuheisel Cult. Mike and the Kitty Kats couldn't quite get it done though.
I have been and always will be a glass half empty type of guy, and a 21 point win over UCLA just isn't cutting it.
#6 LSU over #10 Auburn, 26-21
Like I hinted at earlier, generally I hate the SEC. Mainly because I am in denial about how sick they are. Then I am constantly reminded in the Forde Yard Dash every week. Which sucks.
Not the fact that I am reminded, just the Dash itself.
As I sat in Nine Irish Brothers last night trying to drink away my problems (I guess its a great way to meet chicks), I watched the final half of gameplay and...wow. Both teams were viciously fast and hit stupid hard.
Even though the final score indicates a somewhat high scoring game, these fellas played some hella D-FENCE.
Anyways, my point of view could be somewhat skewed by my intake of Boilermakers (try one out!) and ruffies (the underground Boilermakers), but if either of these two teams ends up in the national championship in January, you won't hear me complaining...as long as Ohio State is their opponent!
And last of all...
Ball State over INDIANA, 42-20
Well, once again Indiana is a disgrace to all things Big Ten. Even the bods they sent for the Big Ten Playboy shoot could have been a little more curvier, and a little less...well, fat.
In case you haven't heard, so in case you aren't from the state of Indiana, Ball State has a baller of their own at quarterback. Evidently the Indiana team was too hightoo busy to notice though.
The MAC has long been considered the "Little Ten" (by me) and when someone from the BIG Ten drops a game to them, I feel validated in saying that the said Big Ten team should be replaced by the said MAC team. It's very complicated, but I just want to make sure if there ever is another Bonzi Wells, we will get to bring him to Mackey.
Of course Nate Davis, the Ball State quarterback hero, was there to shatter any shred of confidence/ego/buzz the Hoosiers could have possibly gained after advancing to the Comcast Insight Bowl last season.
He finished with a handsome 239 yards passing and a hand full of phone numbers from the Hoosier ladies. Not a bad haul.
On a related note: The Hoosiers were not able to "Defend the Rock".
1979-Indiana State (current enrollment of 10,568, less in 1979) finishes as national runner-up in the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament
1985-Old Dominion national champions, winning the NCAA Women's Basketball Tournament
1988-Louisiana Tech national champions, winning the NCAA Women's Basketball Tournament
These are 3 examples taken from basketball, where schools from "non-BCS" conferences were able to play in, and often win, the national championship game. Currently in the FBS division of college football, every school (except Southern California) has played at least 3 games. Therefore, most teams are at least a quarter of the way through the season, and I feel we can begin to make some real judgments on the season.
I am a firm believer that, if at all possible, the national championship game should be played between two undefeated teams. However the BCS has screwed this up on several occasions, most notably when undefeated Boise State did not play against undefeated Ohio State in 2007, but finished as the only undefeated team in Div-A football. Were they awarded a national championship trophy or even a share of the prize (like Southern California in 2003-04)? No, because they play in the WAC.
Why does the BCS hate the likes of the WAC, MAC, MWC, C-USA, and Sun Belt so much? Doesn’t college football pride itself on rabid fan bases and intense rivalries? I believe that teams like Boise State, Fresno State, Utah, Tulsa, and Central Florida (as well as others) have rivalries just as intense and fans that are just as energized as the doormats of the BCS conferences (Indiana, Baylor, Stanford, Duke - I’m talking to you).
What brings about my annual anti-BCS tirade? Here’s the reason:
This is a list of all the teams in FBS football that are still undefeated. Teams in black are from BCS conferences and teams in red are from non-BCS conferences.
One of the MWC teams could go undefeated (BYU is my pick) and so could Boise State. When you look at their schedules, you don’t get disappointed.
Both teams play two opponents that are currently ranked (Boise State already defeated Oregon), and they each beat all of their Pac-10 opponents, one of which could upset USC, whom many are calling the best team of this decade, like last season. Speaking of USC, they currently have no more ranked teams left on their schedule and they still have 10 games left. So for those who call WAC/MWC/C-USA/etc. schedules soft, how do they legitimately stack up against “powerhouses”? Will USC beat UCLA by 59 points like the Cougars did? How can anyone imply that these “mid-majors” can’t run with the big boys when we’ve seen Utah and Boise State win their previous BCS games and seen teams like Illinois from BCS conferences get embarrassed on the big stage?
I’m not taking anything away from teams on this list that may finish with a loss or two. I realize that the SEC is tough, as is the Big 12 (don’t count out the Big 10 either). But with college football’s refusal to adopt a playoff system for the FBS (the only NCAA sanctioned sport where this occurs), the one metric that we have to go on is wins and losses. Qualitative issues like strength of schedule and “quality wins” should have no place in the process.
Ultimately the question that I ask is that if at the end of the season only two teams stand undefeated (or one for that matter), will they get a shot at the title like Indiana State or Old Dominion regardless of their conference affiliation, or will they be shut out like every year before?
I realize that this entire argument depends on a great deal of what-ifs and speculation, but no more than the preseason pick of Georgia at #1 simply because they beat Hawaii in the Sugar Bowl; a Hawaii team that by typical BCS standards shouldn’t have been there in the first place.
Meet this freak of nature, Rival's number one running back in the country Bryce Brown, who is currently a "soft" verbal to Miami. Which I think (hope) means he's willing to listen if the money is right.
Apparently (Hopefully) Purdue head coach (in-waiting) Danny Hope's hoodie is 50/50 PolyCash, because Brown supposedly took an official visit to Purdue for the game vs. Central Michigan. I don't care what Brown costs, watching him follow in Mike Alstott's Boilermaker footsteps for four seasons would be worth however many years of probation we get after the fact. Throw in Morgan Newton, and I'd be willing to see the program get the death penalty after they bounce out.
Hopefully he was impressed watching Purdue take down Central Michigan on Saturday (They went to the Motor City Bowl last year, they're not THAT bad!).
Serious question for college football fans: If you were a millionaire and Brown called you tomorrow and said he wants to go to Purdue (if not a Purdue fan, insert your school here), but he's demanding $5,000, would you fork it over?
I'd say I figured Miami was paying him ten times that already...
Featured Game of the Week: No. 16 Oregon over PURDUE, 32-26
I am a Big Ten fan through and through. There is nothing better than Big Ten football. No better place to watch a football game than a Big Ten Coliseum. And Purdue has always been and will always be my go-to team, but seriously, it's getting more difficult every year. Plus the fans I sit around would unquestionably be the worst in-game coaches in history.
The big question this week going into the game was: was Purdue holding back against Northern Colorado last week? Well for the first half of the game, Purdue had so many wrinkles in its offense they made Bea Arthur look like she should have her own Neutrogena commercial.
They dipped. They dived. Hell, they even threw in quarterback-converted-running back redshirt freshman Justin Siller at quarterback for a few plays. Just like so many other teams in the nation.
Side note: What is the nation’s love affair with dual-quarterbacks now? About 15 out of the 30 teams that I saw glimpses of last night used the two shooter system. (Including both teams in this game) And it somewhat worked for all of them. My question is: how long until teams realize that the only reason the backup is brought on the field is to run? How hard can it be to stop a team that you KNOW is about to run? Another question: how many teams have to use this system before it becomes a certified cult?
Anyways, other than a few first downs here and there, even with all the trickeration, Purdue couldn't put enough distance between themselves and Oregon. The defense played absolutely lights out in the first half and they kept it up most of the game.
Purdue started off this game absolutely typical. Curtis Painter throws an incomplete pass to right side of the field (and then the crowd moaned). After that the entire first half was entirely atypical. The very next play, the formerly second-most overrated player on Purdue's team (Curtis, you'll finish first in one voting!), senior running back Kory Sheets ran down the field for an 80 yard score! Against the wind I might add. He even managed to break the first and second tackles of his career with the carry. For once, I don't feel like we have the worst running back in the Big Ten. Our quarterback however...
Speaking of...a question I posed to my dad yesterday: what do you think was the bigger waste of money; Hillary's bid for presidency or Curtis Painter's bid for Heisman?
After the score, the offense, one of the tops in the nation seemingly every year, and its Heisman candidate Curtis Painter decided to call it a day and let the defense do its thing against the 10th-ranked offense in all of college football. And for more or less the entire game, they did. Not normally known for its defensive prowess, Purdue forced four turnovers and with the exception of one big play, was damn impressive. Once again though, Curtis Painter fell apart in a big game on the big stage and our punter, with all his leg strength, managed to get ahold of every punt, except those where he actually needed the yardage. It blows my mind how he can be standing at the opponents 40 yard line every punt and somehow feel like he's got to kick it "over dem dere mountains" for a net of about 20 every kick.
Wait, our punter is one in the same with our field goal kicker? Ah, that makes sense.
To summarize: Oregon was the better team. Their defensive backs were ridiculously good, but their offense did not impress. Nor, did their uniforms.
All I've heard the past few years about Oregon was that they have three million possible uniform combinations. I have to say I'm a little disappointed. Out of all those possibilities, I get to see the single lamest one? Plain white jersey, plain green pants, white socks, black shoes. So a nationally televised game versus a (supposed) somewhat quality Big Ten opponent wasn't big enough to bring out the snazzy uniform?What's wrong Nike, did a certain event in China force you to cut back production while your workers competed? In the style of Family Guy, I haven't been this disappointed since Duane Allman decided to take his motorcycle for a spin.
It was impressive the way Oregon came out and took control of the game in the second-half though. Almost like they had someone back there giving a pep talk, an equipment manager perhaps? Well anyways, "Ducks Fly Together!" (Ah, goosebumps everytime)(By the way, the entire movie is on YouTube. How great is that!)
Not like you needed it, but more evidence that Juice has magically become a "pure-passer" over the offseason. Here's his line:
13/25, 147 yards, 5.9 yards/attempt, 1 TD, 1 INT
Impressive against any team, but moreso against a quality opponent such as Louisiana-Lafayette.
Oh, he EVEN ran for 35 yards!!!
DUKE over Navy, 41-31
Duke won?!? Wait, did Paulus finally start playing...
Nope.
NOTRE DAME over Michigan, 35-17
Why is everyone so surprised by this? What has Michigan done to suggest that this is an upset? Other than steal Purdue’s savior at wide receiver and offer him dreams of gold and riches…and maybe playing time.
Wait, Roy Roundtree did not play in the game? Really? And he would have started at Purdue? Peculiar. Anyways, good choice Roy.
And not that we need to beat on this any more than it already will be talked about, but do you think when Charlie gets his ACL/MCL surgery he'll knock out two birds with one stone and get lypo?
Or do you think that he will realize how lucky he was to have his fupa break his fall that he will choose to hold on. Plus, it's J-Claw favorite pillow.
No. 6 MISSOURI over Nevada, 69-17
Hmm...I'm thinking a player on Nevada knew the spread, laughed, then put all their money on Mizzou covering. Missouri just flat out knows how to play with the pigskin. Too bad there are so few places to place that bet in Nevada...
If Tim Tebow to Percy Harvin is awesome, then Chase Daniels to Jeremy Maclin is crazy awesome.
Speaking of crazy awesome...
No. 3 Oklahoma over WASHINGTON, 55-14
Sam Bradford is crazy awesome. I remember Billynho being sold on him after one game last season. I was a little more skeptical as I was very untrustworthy of native americans at the time (Kelvin Sampson). But, wow. Without a doubt, the best quarterback in college football.
Why no Heisman website for this guy? At least tell me he is getting hooked up with a summer job. Rhett, you know a guy, right?
Anyways, I am officially making this site the home for all things "Sam Bradford for Heisman". Hopefully Billynho and The Siets will understand...
And of course, one more game...
SAN JOSE STATE over San Diego State, 35-10
Anytime these traditional football titans meet, anything can happen. And this year's matchup was no exception. Although San Diego State came in winless, they were told by their coaching staff all week that they could pull off what would be the upset of the century.
Unfortunately, San Jose State came out swinging early and often, but San Diego State's Aaron Moore did return an interception for a touchdown! How wild.
Oh, and this one...
No. 1 USC over No. 5 The Ohio State University
Honestly, I will go on the record and say having Chris "Beanie" Wells play in this game would have made a huge difference. And by that, I don't mean Ohio State would have won. There is no way, USC is the best team in college football. And maybe the best team this century even?
Do you honestly think Wells goes down without at least three Trojans on his back even once this game? That dude is a hog. With the exception of Mike Alstott, I don't think I have ever been so afraid of any one running back. At the very least he would have been able to offer Boeckman some sort of protection.
I'm thinking if he plays in this game, the final score is somewhere closer to 20-3?
I feel bad for Boeckman. The Ohio State University fans are probably going to be all over his ass and calling for his head this week (They'll leave his midsection alone. The guy is cut.). But, there is no way Terrelle Pryor is ready to step up. I have to admit, I was impressed by him last night. When I watched him in a high school game on ESPN last year I thought he was way over hyped, but last night he showed he had balls...and speed. Damn. One thing though is that he doesn't have the greatest arm. So unless you want a 35% completion percentage, don't start him yet. Ask Illinois how that worked for them. (Don't write in complaining about how he was actually seven of nine last night, as you push up your glasses on your nose.)
One last thing... Other than Sam Bradford, there is only one other player in college football that I would guarantee draft #1 if I had the chance. Joe McKnight. He's got some mad footwork and some even crazier speed.
The most ridiculous thing about USC is that they have 10 guys just like him on offense AND on defense. Wow.
Finally, a blogger who sees Curtis Painter for what he is... er, rather, what he isn't. Namely, a legitimate Heisman candidate (For the record, Painter is first and foremost a Furby look-a-like).
Yahoo's Dr. Saturday serves up an excellent preview of this weekend's Purdue vs. Oregon game.
According to the M.D., Purdue has lost 16 straight against non-MAC teams that finish the season with winning records, and Furby is 1-9 in his career against Ohio State, Michigan, Penn State, Notre Dame, and Wisconsin.
Great points, I've been trying to tell them to my dad every time he deludes himself into believing Purdue has put it together.
No one is as hard as I am on Joe Tiller's football team, but I'm not sold on Oregon either. I certainly don't see anyone running wild on the Boilermakers' defense.
Sure, Furby has never been able to elevate Purdue in big games, but the Ducks are the Michigan State to USC's Ohio State out west.
I realize Oregon boosters have laundered a lot of money to bring the current talent into Eugene, I get that, but I'm sorry... it isn't going to be enough Saturday.
Since this isn't a big game, Purdue FTW... On its way to becoming the worst 10-2 team in big conference college football history. And further entrenching Furby as a "real" Heisman candidate and project(ed) first round pick in next year's NFL Draft.
After Jimmy Clausen’s “impressive” victory over a “talented” SDSU, I decided we should take a look at the diary of the boy with the golden arm. With inspiration from Billynho, I present you with A Day in the Life: James Richard Clausen. ENJOY.
9:30 A.M. – I arise from my slumber to the sound of my bitchin cell phone’s text alert (Alanis Morisette’s “You Live, You Learn”). Sweet, my bros Ricky and Casey sent me a text. First text, “I heard mom and dad crying last night…I assume that’s influenced by you” – Case. This don’t phase me, I’m J-Claw and what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger. Next message from Ricky, “Hey bro-fo can I chillax at your place for a while mom and dad are acting hella stoopid” – R.C.
10:00 A.M. – Hop out the shower and run a comb through my blonde locks. 500 strokes to be exact.
10:30 A.M. – Call Evan Sharpley and pretend to be Chuck Weis. Tell him he has been awarded the starting role for Saturday’s game. Sharpley gets all stoked like the chode he is. I let the act go on and right before I hang up I yell “PSYCHE” and slam the celly shut. I know that lil bitch is crying right now and his tears are the fuel to my body. :)
11:15 A.M. – Meet Coach Weis at Fazolis for some midday grub. He talks about football stuff and I just nod and smile, but honestly all I can think about is drinking some brews with my boyz. Coach thinks I don’t notice, but I see him grabbing breadsticks off my plate; I don’t mind; I’d do anything to make him smile.
12:00 P.M. – Coach and I head back to his place to watch some game film. His daughter is obsessed with me, typical girl. It’s cool though cuz we got matching haircuts. I sit on coach’s lap/fupa and we dissect the SDSU game, which was a VICTORY!!!! (LoL Johnny Drama LOL)
2:00 P.M. – Some of my teammates like to watch Michigan’s game film to help prepare for the upcoming match. I think that’s bogus. I just play some NCAA 09 on the 360. The outcome of the game is Notre Dame 56 Michigan 10. I ran for 187 yards and was 40-47 for 472 yards. This game is gonna be hella easy.
4:00 P.M. – I head up to the gym and do the same workout that Brady Quinn does. That bro has got a smokin bod – no homo.
7:00 P.M. – I’m ready to get my drink on!!!!!!!! I call up my buds, nobody’s answering... they must not have good service or something. I go on facebook and check out my man Golden Tate’s page. From his recent activities I see that he is attending a “Golf Pros and Tennis Hoes Party at Turtle Creek Apartments” I jot down the address, grab a bottle of Boonesfarm, and hightail it to this shindig.
8:00 P.M. – I’m hilarious, so to keep my funny-man reputation I decided to dress up as a Tennis Hoe. (LOL WTF am I thinking) Everybody loves it. When I walk in the door they all point at me and laugh for like 15 minutes. Some people love my costume so much they threw tennis balls at me, but they did throw them kinda hard, but once again it don’t phase me I’m J-Claw.
10:00 P.M. – This party blooooows. Nobody’s taking pics of me and the bros don’t wanna do body shots. I think I’m gonna head out of this party.
10:30 P.M. – “Honey I’m home!!!!” JK I live alone (HAHA) :( I decide I’m about ready to call it a night cuz I got school tomorrow YUCK (LoL) but first I polish off my High School State Championship rings. 11:00 P.M. – Hop into my racecar bed pull my leprechaun blankets up to my chin and rest my sweet lil head on my pillow. Goodnight “friends”.
With virtually all other publications/media outlets releasing their preseason football prognostications for the upcoming season (before athletes had a full summer of potential opportunities to get caught stealing/assaulting) it is now time for Kornheiser's Cartel to release Orel's Preseason Previews, or shortly put "OPP". Why the Big Ten you ask? What other conference has this level of smashmouth, GRIND IT OUT football? What other conference has their own television network (Notre Dame DOES NOT count)? What other conference has 10 of the top 11 (exaggerated) stadium capacities in the nation (sorry Northwestern)? And finally, in the words of Barry Badrinath, what other conference can you watch and see an awe inspiring play and be obliged to yell out, "That's Big Ten Football!"?
It was easy to choose the school to kick-off our previews this year. Michigan kicked-off last season rather auspiciously with early season losses...followed by eight consecutive victories over teams, including NOTRE DAME. They hit a lull to end the season until they came up with one of the more impressive performances of any team of the season in the Capital One Bowl over Tim Tebow...err Florida.
Enough about the past, let's talk about this season!
Michigan returns 14 starters from a team that finished the season ranked, rightfully so, in the top-20 in the nation. They bring in who has to be the most dynamic freshman in the country in Terrell Pryor. He has the perfect tools that new coach Rich Rodriguez looks for in his quarterbacks. If by some fluke Pryor does not live up to the billing, sophomore Ryan Mallett, a former 5-star recruit, is there to pick up keys and go. No one can argue that this team is on its way to an unprecedented 43rd Big Ten Championship and possibly its 12th National Title.
Wait a second...the Wolverines DO NOT return their most important pieces from their vaunted offense last season and they sure as hell DO NOT return OR bring in the great Terrell Pryor or Ryan "the Human Croquet" Mallett?
Honestly, the Wolverines should be mediocre at besta although they have brought in another great recruiting class to continue their tradition of undeserved recruits (Rodriguez is a "snake oil salesman" after all). Their defense should keep games close, while their offense should run about as efficiently as Joe Pa on a treadmill.
There really is no excuse though. This program gets top-10 talent EVERY year. I don't care if you lose a few good players and one GREAT player (Mike Hart), there is no reason that they should not expect to contend for a Big Ten title every single year. You have to remember, this is a program accustomed to never living up to its lofty rankings, so this year should be different from that aspect. There are no expectations whatsoever, unless you call being a fringe top-25 team expectations for this tradition rich football academy.
In closing, they just don't have the firepower to replace the human grinder Mike Hart. I'm predicting a transition year for Michigan this year. They are headed for another measly nine wins with a fifth-place finish in the Big Ten... Only to return to their position as Ohio State's little sister next season.
Who am I to talk though? I'm a Purdue fan...I idolize anyone that's THE Ohio State University's little sister. But more on that to come!
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