Conquering the World (Wide Web) - 2/14/2009

My beloved Boilermakers eked out a win today in Iowa City. With Play like that they'll likely be slaughtered by the Spartans on Tuesday. With that said, and in honor of how crazy the Big Ten season has been, I've decided to keep a Midwestern flavor in my recap of the web's best.


John Paxson ousted in the Windy City:
With the Bulls being basement dwellers practically ever since His Airness left town, everybody saw this coming. Here we have a good recap of his stellar moves and signings.
[Luol's Dong]

AL Central Preview
Even though it's only February, diehard baseball fans are already looking towards the the upcoming season. I have to agree with picking the Twins, though the ChiSox may give them a run. With the AL East as stacked as ever, there will only be one playoff spot coming from the Central. [Midwest Sports Fans]

Tom Crean Continues to Bring Respectibality to Bloomington
The Cartel has long been a fan of Crean. We loved what he did at Marquette and hoped that he might help heal IU after the disastorous exits of Knight, Sampson, and to a lesser extent Davis. It seems that he might be living up to this reformer hype. Though we will never be IU fans, we are glad to see this kind of action. [Larry Brown Sports]

Bears Make Roster Changes
Long time Bears will be seen elsewhere next year. Mike Brown and Marty Booker were not offered new contracts. Also it appears that John Tait will retire. [Chicago Sun-Times]

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Devin Hester Now a Magically Good Receiver and Poor Returner

I don't know about you, but I loved the conclusion to the tale of Harry Potter. J.K. Rowling sure had me going there for awhile(no, not like THAT, though she is pretty fit for 43)! Here I'd read like 6,000 pages of those books ready to well up at any moment in anticipation of Lord Voldemort dying (okay, I admit, I did well up a few times anyways). You're probably all like, "Ay B, Voldemort was a cotton-headed ninnymuggins, wasn't he?" That he was R, but Miss Rowling tricked me. You see, she had my mind in a tizzy thinking that (paraphrasing) "Harry Potter and Lord Voldemort have a mutually dependent relationship in which if one dies, so too will the other." Then, thankfully, on page 5,960 (SPOILER ALERT!!!) she took it all back.

PHEW!!! Ha Ha Ha (relieved, delirious, wonderful laughter)!

We're not in the clear yet, the nightmare is not over.

Gulp.

Devin Hester the Boy Wonder Kick Returner is a real world incarnation of Harry Potter, and I'm afeared his tale won't end so happily ever after.

Gulp.

Put simply...
Harry Potter : Lord Voldemort :: Devin Hester the Boy Wonder Kick Returner : Devin Hester the No. 2 Wide Receiver

In his first two seasons as almost exclusively a returner, Hester was considered the most feared special teams specialist in the history of the NFL. He returned seven punts and four kickoffs for touchdowns in the regular season and was sitting just two behind Brian Mitchell for the all-time special teams touchdowns lead. He caught just 20 passes over the same two seasons.

This year, he entered a dark chapter of his career. The numbers suggest he's a sub-standard kick returner all of a sudden. He's yet to score a special teams TD and is averaging a paltry six yards per punt return.

Those who watch the Chicago Bears closely didn't have to hear the numbers to know what I'm talking about. An eye-test reveals he's lost his other-worldly explosiveness and sharp cutting ability.

There are, though, good explanations for his newfangled struggles.

He emerged as one of Kyle Orton's most reliable targets early this season, must always be feared as a deep-threat on offense, and shows a willingness to catch balls over the middle with safeties bearing down on him. His value as a receiver means he is forced to sprint every play, rather than just six times a game, which likely is to blame for robbing his explosiveness. He's no longer fresh for special teams.

Additionally, teams have wizened up when it comes to avoiding Hester the Returner. Last season, the Bears had an all-time NFL record number of punts booted out of bounds against them. This season, he's had even fewer opportunities through eight games.

Whatever the reason, the fact remains that Devin Hester the Returner and Devin Hester the Receiver have yet to show they can co-exist.

Here's hoping they find a way to break the curse, just like Harry Potter.

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