Analysis from Manchester United vs Chelsea

After painstakingly distancing myself from any soccer or mainstream sports site that I feared would reveal the result of the Manchester United vs. Chelsea battle, I finally got a chance to watch the game for myself on DVR at 1 A.M..

I have to say that I was a bit disappointed, not just because I'm a fan of the Blues. The game was more open and fast-paced than recent affairs between the rivals, but Deco missing with an injury and Ronaldo not coming on til the second half removed some anticipated aesthetic appeal. Still there was the debut of Dimitar Berbatov for Man U, Alex Ferguson's first attempt to outwit fellow footballing genius Luiz Felipe Scolari, and Wayne Rooney managing to stay on for a full 90 minutes despite a card happy referee.

Here are random bits of insight I gleaned from the game:

The first 15 minutes saw a back-and-forth high paced hectic pace with each team on the attack. The highlight was a ridiculous looping volley by Rooney attempting to chip Petr Cech that narrowly missed the goal.

Manchester United scored soon afterward following a spectacular team move consisting of a string of about six first touch passes culminating in a Ji-sung Park rebound goal. Park is oft-overlooked (a racially insensitive friend of mine calls him "that Chinese guy on Manchester United who never does anything") , but I have a lot of respect for him. He's constantly moving on the field, tracks back and gets forward at full speed, and never shies away from physical contact. It's hard to think of a comparable player to Park, but maybe Mikel Arteta?

United controlled much of the rest of the half, with Chelsea surging late, but never really threatening.

The second half was all Chelsea thanks to John Obi Mikel and Frank Lampard. Soon after I scribbled down that Mikel was having a quiet game and didn't seem to be quick enough to keep up with the world-class athletes on the field, he not only stepped up the pace, he took over. His passing improved and became more adventurous, his one free kick was perfectly taken and led to an easy goal for Salomon Kalou, he stuffed Cristiano Ronaldo on multiple occassions one-on-one, and he was an excellent aerial deterrent to United's attack, especially crucial after Ricardo Carvalho went off injured in the first half.

Lampard's game was subtle, but extremely effective. He never found the space to make marauding 20-yard dribbles from the center line, but he alleviated pressure on teammates with excellent first touches, possession, and passing. He rarely gave the ball away and was strong in the tackle. Lamps wasn't flashy, but his second-half steady play inspired the whole side.
Didier Drogba came on late and looked like a black Andy Reid... or put more simply, pretty fat. He should take a cue from Mido and lose a few stones, and stop there when it comes to emulating Mido.

Nicolas Anelka whiffed badly from three yards out after a perfect Joe Cole cross when it would've been easier to score. I'm thinking he's not Chelsea quality. I hear Spurs need a striker...

Jonny Evans had a quiet, impressive day. It's hard to believe he's just 20 years old. I don't see United missing Nemanja Vidic if Evans plays like that every game.

And Cristiano Ronaldo, the 130 million quid man... He's clearly not all the way back from his injury yet as he tried to take every Chelsea player one-on-one and was stuffed basically every time. This fan of beautiful football hopes his form improves and he lights up the next match-up between these two top-of-the-table sides.

Read more!

The Five Most Irreplaceable Premier League Footballers

As the Premier League season’s third weekend closes, fans are left with much to ponder…

£6 million for Luke Young? WTF

How many Zaki Bombs will Wigan be treated to this season? How much profit will they reap off of him next summer?

After Mido’s tantrum, is it any wonder he and Hossam Ghaly are best friends?

Whatever happened to Hossam Ghaly?

On the topic of former White Hart Lane stars, how long until Ledley King’s knee finally falls off?

£6 million for Luke Young? Hahahaha!

Not every player is a wreck, though. Here I present the five most valuable players in the Premier League, the five players who would be the hardest to replace in the event of injury. Not the best, not the most expensive, mind you, but you get the point.

5) Roque Santa Cruz – Take a look at Blackburn’s roster. How the eff did they finish seventh last season!? David Bentley certainly helped. But without Santa Cruz’s 19 goals in 36 Premier League games and the attention he drew from defenses, Blackburn might’ve faced a relegation scare. We might find out how Blackburn cope without him if Manchester United don’t solve their striker quandary by January.

4) Joleon Lescott – Everton are scary thin throughout the squad, especially at the back where Lescott played well enough to win the club’s Player of the Year award last season. The loss of his eight Premier League goals and steady defending could well leave Everton extremely vulnerable if Cahill and Arteta can’t stay healthy this season. Bottom six vulnerable, perhaps.

3) Cesc Fabregas – While an injury to him would make Arsenal exponentially more likeable, and be hilarious because he would undoubtedly cry for days afterwards, Arsenal can ill afford to lose their fulcrum/poster-boy after seeing Hleb and Flamini depart already this offseason. Of course, I would have thought the losses of Henry and Vieira would’ve hurt them worse.

2) Ricardo Carvalho – No way he’s more valuable than JT? Read this. Over the last two seasons, Chelsea has gained almost a point more per game with Carvalho, than without him. They’ve actually been worse with Terry in the line-up than when he played. Shocking… Carvalho does the little things to get into opponents heads. Wayne Rooney can attest to that.

1) Cristiano Ronaldo – The most talented player in the world, the most effective last season, and the leader of the best team, we’ll find out how much Manchester United misses him while he nurses an ankle injury. Here’s guessing hair gel and goals will be hard to find at Old Trafford without No. 7.

Read more!

The 10 Most Valuable Footballers on the Planet

These players are not valuable as in their team could never cope without them this coming season—like Dulwich Hamlet's Chris Dickson in 2006—but valuable as in how much they're worth on the transfer market. Dickson brought in a steep £35,000!

Paolo Maldini fans, Il Capitano didn't make the list, but his grandkids were given strong consideration.

10) Chelsea's Michael Essien—Chelsea made Essien the most expensive African footballer ever when they purchased him from Lyon for £24 million in 2005. He has only enhanced his reputation in his time at Stamford Bridge.

He's one of the most versatile players in the world, tough like Gattuso, and steadily developing his surprisingly impressive offensive skill-set. There isn't a side in the world that he wouldn't start for.

Value: £35 million

9) Arsenal's Cesc Fabregas—Cesc is soft, petulant, annoying, and pretty boring to watch; that's why he doesn't get a fancy YouTube video embedded in his name.

But he's also one of the best passers in the world. I was surprised to see that he scored seven Premier League goals last season. Eugh, I have nothing else to say here.

Value: £35 million

8) Bayern Munich's Franck Ribéry—Super Franck (can I do that?) has enjoyed a mercurial rise since World Cup 2006.

Zidane comparisons are hyperbolic, but Ribéry's game speaks for itself. If he played for a top English or Spanish side, he'd be a world superstar.

Value: £38 million

7) Manchester United's Wayne Rooney—It seems unfair to call a 22-year-old with 43 English caps and 195 Premier League appearances a disappointment, but Rooney has yet to add the clinical finishing that would make him unstoppable to his repertoire.

And he's yet to reign in his temper. And he definitely has the frame to add 20 pounds, the bad kind.

Despite those shortcomings, his tantalizing potential still shines through regularly. His work rate is remarkable for an offensive player, and he's capable of making goals that few in the world would venture to attempt.

Value: £40 million

6) Liverpool's Fernando Torres—A case could be made that he should be a few spots higher on this list, but the fact that he tattooed his name in J.R.R. Tolkien's Tengwar script on his forearm weighed heavily against him.

Yes, he's a proven goalscorer, Euro 2008 champion, and has lovely hair, but Tengwar?

Value: £45 million

5) Real Madrid's Sergio Ramos—There's definitely something going on between Torres and Ramos. Don't you sense it? Nothing wrong that, it's cool, whatever. Two less guys I gotta compete with.

What isn't cool is Torres's Tengwar tattoo. That's why Ramos is ranked ahead of him.

Value: £45 million

4) Atletico Madrid's Sergio Aguero—La Liga's best player in 2007-08 while just 19 years old, El Kun led Atletico's Champions League qualification run, their first since 2001-02.

How he fares in the Champions League and how he holds up physically are the only questions left to be answered by Aguero.

Value: £50 million

3) Barcelona's Lionel Messi—It's hard to believe Messi just turned 21 on June 24. It's also hard to believe his tiny legs can move so quickly.

When he's on his game, no number of opposing players can keep him from scoring. Injuries and inconsistency seem to stymie him all too often.

Value: £55 million

2) AC Milan's Kaká—Behind the angelic baby face and devotional undershirts lies the holy grail of modern midfielders. Kaká blends track speed, surprising power, and ridiculous skill.

He's consistently productive for both club and country, a rare scandal-free star, and still just 26 years old.

Value: £60 million

1) (Real Madrid via) Manchester United's Cristiano Ronaldo—The best player in the world (right now), Ronaldo is a master dribbler, shooter, and diver.

In 2007-08, he scored 42 goals in 48 games in leading Manchester United to a Premier League and Champions League double.

Before stumping up the list price for Ronaldo, Madrid should remember that two years ago Ronaldinho would've been atop this list at £100 million. Of course, Ronaldinho never outran a Bugatti. My bad.

As long as he keeps the trash talking, winks, and penalty kicking to a minimum, he may just be worth the investment.

Value: £70 million

Just falling short (hehe): Jean Carlos Chera—At age nine, the 4'6" wunderkind next-Pele, next-Maradona, next-Ronaldinho, next-Freddy Adu became an overnight Internet sensation.

Videos of him popping the keeper (who couldn't reach the crossbar jumping), dribbling through players as if they hadn't fully developed their leg muscles yet, and celebrating each of his 10 goals a game like they were World Cup game-winners flooded YouTube.

At the time, it was purported that Chera was the best U-14 player in all of Brazil. Santos may have mined a metaphorical golden talent. But probably not.

Also considered: Iker Casillas, Petr Cech, Steven Gerrard, Micah Richards, Robinho, Wesley Sneijder, Ricardo Quaresma, David Villa

Read more!