Chinese Olympic Coverage

I have to admit. I am extremely disappointed in the Olympic coverage on the Chinese side this year. I have spent what would amount to about three days time in the last few years watching what has become a cult phenomenon "MXC".

The only reason I initially tuned into the Olympics this year was to see Guy LeDouche report on the inner workings of the Olympics (Though it did not take long to be drawn in to the amazing stories and tales spoken so eloquently by Mr. Baritone himself, Mary Carillo...err...Mrs.)!

But seriously, James Earl Jones sounds like Mariah Carey compared to that voice...

Anyways, imagine Olympic coverage where you don't have to wonder whether the host, Costas, is wishing he was the inseam on the 12 year-old Chinese girls gymnastics suit. Where Bela Karolyi is not the highlight of your night.

Hell, even the the events would be more entertaining with Vic Romano and Kenny Blankenship at the reins. Goodbye 5 mile swim, hello "Rock Hopping".

I guess what I want the most is for the gymnasts to not be the stupidest looking people on the screen. Well, other than Ian Crocker (see below)...

Read more!

Ian Crock(er)pot

After watching Ian "Crockpot" Crocker get 116th place in the 100m Butterfly Final, I have to ask, does his training involve eating underwater? Eating nonstop from whatever is in the crock pot at mom's house?

It seems like Crocker's training involves more slumber parties at Derek "Coleslaw" Coleman's house with other guests including Vin "Second-Helping Taker" Baker and Jared (before Subway).

I mean, I just don't get how a CURRENT world-record holder in an event cannot get himself up for the Olympics. Even Hef gets himself up to this day!

Even worse he talked about how he wouldn't let Phelps beat him. Phelps eats 12,000 calories a day! And even he doesn't look like he could beat Crocker in a mayonnaises eating contest.

I think Def Leppard's drummer could have given him a run for his money in this race. Thank god Jeremy Schaap graced us with his lovely up-to-the-minute update on Crocker's shit talking (slash eating).

Sportscenter Live? Worst invention ever. Including child pornography. Sorry Costas.

Read more!