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I don’t know how AP Sports Columnist Jim Litke snuck this gem by me since I was pulling for Edgerrin in Super Bowl XLIII, but combine the 168 hours of week-long coverage the world managed prior to the big game with the bottle of rut-gut I had for lunch, and maybe I shouldn’t be surprised.
What’s your halfback done for the economy in your neck of the woods? Speaking of “brother can you spare a dime”, somebody please hand Michigan State head coach Tom Izzo some sense. On the No. 5 Spartans’ third loss of the Big Ten season at the hands of the Boilermakers: “Does Purdue deserve credit? Probably. Are we to blame? Probably.” Probably, Tommy?
Purdue didn’t have the most stellar offensive game either, not even managing half their shots on the night. Though the highlight reel will show Robbie Hummel coming back from the stress fracture in his back, he did only go 3-9 from the floor in 25 minutes of work.
How’s about instead of probably—as in there’s a likelihood for the grounds of believing—we’ll just go ahead a say definitively Purdue’s defense stifled the Spartans, holding them to a season-low 32.7 percent shooting from the floor and only 54 points—the second time this season they’ve been held under 60. But don’t worry East Lansing, you’re in good company: Only three squads have managed 60 points on Keady Court this season, and six teams couldn't even reach 50.
And before everyone gets up in arms, I get what Izzo’s trying to say: Was the Boiler D (10 steals, 8 blocks) great or was Michigan State having an off night? That must be the reason the ‘ol ball coach is unable to praise a defense which held his leading scorer (and turn-over artist with six), Kalin Lucus, to a horrendous 2-11 from the floor. But look at the big picture; how’d your boy eek out 14 points on such an poor night? Maybe by knocking down a not-so-off-night 10 of 12 in six trips to the charity stripe? Probably.
Need a reason to hate to Steelers? Nope, me neither, but here’s another:
When Michael Vick gets out of jail, he should couch surf sans pants on every Steelers' expensive sofas and leak blood and prison cum from his butthole on their upholstery. I hope the Steelers don’t break their arms patting themselves on their vaginas.
That and does Brenda Warner’s hair qualify her for my bromance list?
With the Super Bowl upcoming, ESPN has apparently sucked the coverage-teat so dry that their two week long pre-game bonanza even includes Sal Paolantonio pinching a putrid loaf on the Colts ’06 title, claiming Super Bowl XLI as “the worst ever”.
Paolantonio, in all the reasoning of the lovechild of Skip Bayless and Ann Coulter, explains that there was so much hype for Peyton Manning and the Colts, they just didn’t live up to it what with the meager passing stats (Tom Moore chose to limit passing in the rain?) and the fact that the Colts didn’t win by 30 points. So supposedly this left everyone in a world of boredom where fans had to endure the pitiful Bears offense and (now-backup to Kyle Orton*) Rex Grossman. Oh real sorry over here in (Houston via) Indy that the Colts couldn't entertain you enough, Sal. Didn’t realize when MENSA founder Leon Lett was doing his best garbage-bag-full-of-jell-o impression in Super Bowl XXVII’s 52-17 blowout, you were wrenched with anticipation.
So it’s an ugly win, a win full of interceptions and fumbles galore, a game of missed opportunities but a game nonetheless. Given they can’t all end with Kevin Dyson on the one or David Tyree wearing the ball as a hat, but who would rather watch a blowout over a close game in the mud? Sal would, I guess. Of the 42 NFL title games, exactly half have been decided by a margin of over two possessions. Maybe I’m being biased, but you can’t look at this box score and not take the weather into account. It’s messy, but it’s good.
How about the 1985 Bears who forgot to use the third greatest running back ever in a 46-10 drubbing of Steve Grogan and Co? Sure everyone loves the Fridge and all had fun getting drunk and fat watching Da Bears, but it was over at halftime. I’m bored; the fourth quarter is moot. Or in ’89, one year after “The Catch” (You know, an entertaining and statistically good game.), the Broncos fail to bring their secondary and Joe Montana had a 27-3 halftime lead. Really, Sal? You bought the whole seat but you only needed the edge?
Paolantonio doesn’t need many adjectives to describe Grossman’s awful championship play:
"As the field began to resemble some kind of southern Florida swamp, Bad Rex surfaced like some B-movie beast to snatch the Bears from a possible comeback. He trips, loses 11 yards. He muffs the snap. The ball squirts backward. He falls on it. Loses another 11 yards. On fourth-and-23, the Bears wisely punt."
But after this, he chastises Manning for struggling to victory in the same conditions. Is it possible that the downpour which made a mediocre Grossman look awful could have made Manning look simply good enough?
The article concludes so unapologetically classless and inane, it seems absurd Paolantonio has been at ESPN since 1995: “Thank Grossman for delivering Manning's legacy and Dungy's place in history.” Riiiiight. Where’s the line start for this big gratitude orgy? Is it near the line to thank the 49er’s pass defense for Dan Marino’s legacy?
As for Dungy? Don’t remember him for his Steelers Super Bowl victory as a player, or the fact that he was the NFL’s youngest assistant at 25 under Chuck Noll, or his strength as a father in loss and resolution in community, family, and god. Forget his .759 winning percentage with the Colts, or the six 12-win seasons, or even the 10 consecutive years in the playoffs. Remember only that he was the first black man to steal the Super Bowl. Just try not to lynch him for it, Sal.
* Shameless plug here**
** Another shameless plug: I once raced Tim Dwight at 400 meters and he talked to me during the race***
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