The tide is turning, and the gods must have been angered. Five months late of the city's own commemoration of Pheidippides last
stride there is an ominous feeling resonating throughout the hub.
Robert Cheruiyot may have won the world's oldest annual marathon for the fourth time (still no big J-Rex feat),but even he could not foresee the the tragedy about to befall upon a city of once thought champions.
The debate has waged long enough. Boston may have been the premiere sports city last year. But as we can see now, it is the beginning of the end. 2008-9 is the year of the Boston Suck Hole (to Mass-holes chagrin).
Since last September I have resided in the mecca of Boston, MA. In the past year I have observed two out of three professional teams achieve the pinnacle of success in their respective field of play. Although the cogs of destiny have been in motion for several months, it was Brady's
injury yesterday which has solidified Boston's implosion of sports arrogance.
This is part one of a three part series.
"Leprechaun 5: Back 2 tha Hood" (destructing the Celtics)It may sound crazy, but the Celtics (currently Boston's best chance for a championship team) are on the cusp of heading back to the worst record in the league, and finally pulling the curtain back to reveal
Doc Rivers's Wizard of Oz coaching credentials.
Rivers is riding more coattails than
Michael Phelps did in the 4x100 relay. Outside of Phelps
diet. . . he is worthless to me.
There's no surprise that
Cassell is involved in the destruction of the entire city.
His life was extended far beyond its natural limits by the effects of possessing the One Ring (NBA Championship Ring). His one desire was to possess the ring that had enslaved him. He pursued the ring for 13 years after having lost it to Rudy Tomjanovich after a strange three way celebratory kiss with Hakeem Olajuwon.
Kevin Garnett named the good point guard Cassell "Slinker" (for his fawning, eager-to-please demeanor), and the
bad point guard personality "Stinker" (for obvious reasons).
The only reason the Celtics don't suck as much as the Patriots and Red Sox, is because they are not currently playing right now. Therefore I cannot arbitrarily insult their poor performance which undoubtedly has already been prescribed by Zen Master Phil Jackson's latest bikini wax seance.
But here is why the C' boys are donzo. . .
Ray-Ray-Gun Allen got married. After years of free milk, Jesus Shuttlesworth finally got soft and did the right thing. Maybe he got confused and thought having cold feet was a reference to his sub zero playoff performance last season.
I know this sounds horrible, but maybe , just maybe some one should hurt Paul Pierce with something worse than a $25,000 gang symbol fine. I fully believe Pierce is one of the scrappiest, toughest players out there. But being carried off the main stage in the Finals like a
Kerri Strug stunt double is not helping his street cred. If Pierce isn't stabbed by next season, you can look forward to Feathered Tickle Fights at Half Court, or until the first man calls Uncle Sternie'.
Finally, you have the most intimidating powerful NBA player transformed into a blubbering baby by merely being in the presence of Bill Russell. I've never seen a professional athlete cry so much outside of
Lando Calrissian’s adoration of Brian Piccolo, or perhaps if Big Baby Perkins had relationship issues with Jessica Simpson.
My advice is to have Leon Powe throw a boot camp back in the hood. . . maybe then these boys could grow up and
make amends to Boston in advance of their epic failure.
Labels: Boston Celtics, Boston Sports, dave-o, Jason Rexing, Jesus Shuttlesworth, NBA
5 Comments
